Momversations
Two Conversations with Mom within 30 minutes of coming home:
Mom: Oh! You’re reading To A Lighthouse! What do you…
Me: I hate you. I blame you for the pain.
Mom: OK.
Me: Virginia Woolf needs to find a period. There is a point where introspection is too much. Move on.
Mom: You really think that?
Me: Well, I’m also the only one in this family to adore Hemingway.
Mom: True.
(Later, in the car)
Me: So I called George last night.
Mom: Oh?
Me: To call him an asshole.
Mom: Of course. What did he say?
Me: That he didn’t think I could carry my cell phone with me at work.
Mom: Err…
Me: Yeah. Still 72-hours. No excuse.*
Mom: Right.
*George, my darling little brother, has been accepted to the University of Chicago Law School. A fact he did not ring up to tell me right away. I’m so proud to have such a smart asshole for a brother.