(By the way, whenever there are excessive parentheses?  It means I’m in a good mood.  It’s something I noticed about my writing years ago.  Psych 101 students, analyze away.)
 

1)       I am dumb in the best way.  After my greed of Tuesday, I started rehashing numbers to plan cat teeth cleaning (boo) and birthday spa/shopping spree (yay).  That’s when I realized that my great savings plan only counted on paychecks until my planned departure week.  You know, the week that I will work and then be paid in the next pay period.  Mo’ money!
 
2)       I received the renewal policy for my car insurance.  November marked the three-year anniversary of my big accident.  (I actually had a second one – with a guardrail and therefore unreported – a month later.  It was possibly caused by some bad repairs to Veronica the first time, or the brake line that was pinched by Allied Tires when they rotated my tires the day before.  But since I couldn’t prove any of that, I opted to just get her fixed myself.  Not that this has anything to do with the story, but mentioning it reminds me of how low I was feeling three years ago.  Anyway….PORCUPINE!)  I was eagerly awaiting the drop in my premiums, while pessimistically gearing up for it not being much, especially after Wisconsin’s speeding ticket.  My policy is $150 less this time around.  Whoo for good driving!  Or at least, not getting caught.  Or at least, getting caught in states where the points don’t transfer to my license.
 
3)       Gmail has now thwarted my romantic life for the second time.  The first time was when it was brand spanking new and it delayed a morning email from the new boy until about 8pm.  The email suggested a little evening something-something, rare for us on weekdays due to the logistics, but of course it was too late by the time I got it.  I let him know toot sweet and it was the closest I ever heard him say a bad word about Google.  Why is this second time a positive thing?  Because it means he wasn’t ignoring me.  (“He” not being the new boy.  “He” just being unnamed in that annoying vagueness habit of mine.  I’d make a joke about the new boy definitely ignoring me, but I think when it’s been a year since your last interaction that falls into an entirely different category.)  (I’m using quotes correctly there, yes?  I can’t stand excessive quotes almost as much as I love excessive parentheses.)
 
4)       I found my gloves!  Which, Jules, are Harbinger.  I couldn’t tell you before because, well, they were lost.  Where were they?  Umm…on my closet floor?  And no, my closet is not so grody that you can’t see the floor.  I had evidently placed them on top of my exercise/accessory cart at some point and they fell between the cart and luggage.  This is perhaps evidence that I am dumb in not exactly the best way, but they are found so I’m OK with that.
 
5)       I realized walking home from the gym (in my condo complex) that perhaps I should make a bigger deal about this whole weight-training thing.  I had given it up because of my back.  I bought a handful of dumbbells and did small 10-15 minute toning sessions at home instead.  I haven’t had a need to wear these gloves in over five years.  It’s been a month now and I’m feeling fine. 
 
6)       I seem to be the only woman alive who can move the “Careful, Wet Floors” triangle thingy from the middle of the bathroom floor.  This is positive because it amuses me greatly.  I kind of want to leave it there all day.
 
7)       Work.  Those who caught my Monday night mope know it has been bugging enough to actually write about, something I never do.  But since Monday, I’ve had a bit of mojo around the office.  Today it culminated in having two work products reviewed with zero deficiencies, fixing a major problem I did not cause, finding a major problem I did not cause and presenting a good strategy to my boss, having my boss’s official response to another test be, “Kick ass!”, and receiving yet another Outback gift certificate for the effort that went into some meetings lately.  (I now have close to $200 in gift certificates to Outback.  I never use them because I’m not a huge Outback fan and there is not one close enough to me for a convenient take-out dinner.  But today I realized that with this much plastic swag, I can live it up a Roy’s with a few guests in the near future.)
 
And!  Because people have been so fucking funny lately I want to lick them, list of positivity, part II: women who are so fucking funny:
 
1)       Mimi SmartyParts:  “Fuck you if you don’t know what a Triscuit looks like.”  Amen.
2)       Miss Zoot:  I now aspire to cause a gas leak scare and the fire department to be called.
3)       Heather:   “I return to my apartment and duck inside quickly, paranoid that an early rising neighbor will see me. Without dropping my bags, I hurry into the bathroom, remove the toothbrush from my mouth, rinse and spit.”  If you do not love this woman to bits you are dead to me.