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Jessica In Progress

For the Love of Fuck

6:48AM

January11

I hate this feeling. This feeling of making lunch while taking my first sip of coffee (it’s only a matter of time before I open the coolest lunch bag ever and find a cat accidently packed as he/she tried to demonstrate how absolutely STARVED he/she is).

The feeling that the washing machine is running right now. The dish washer soon will be. Before I leave for class, I’ll also scoop the cat litter.

This feeling that I have to be on top! of! everything! every! minute! of! every! day!

I especially hate this feeling because I know it’s just a matter of time. Whatever crazy schedule or five-minute clean-up I arrange now, will be out the window come mid-semester. I’ll be laying on a layer of dirt above the carpet, eating either pizza or cardboard, and sniffing my shirt to see if I can get through another day.

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Look! I erased that generic “This is a wordpress about page!”

Not that I have anything interesting to write in it’s place. But I want partial credit.

About me:

Born and raised in Chicago. (Once I tell someone Chicago, they say, “what part?” assuming I mean a suburb. To which I reply, “Chicago, Chicago. The south side.” Then people usually go, “Ooooh.” And then I bite them. Because I am as bad as bad, bad Leroy Brown).

I moved to St. Petersburg, Florida for college in 1993. My freshman year I dated an alumni and I swore I’d never stick around the town like he did.

I live in Tampa, Florida.

I was born in 1975. That should keep this from getting woefully out-of-date. Of course, it also means I can’t come visit and pretend I’m 31 forever.

I’m divorced. I live with ST. (Who was born before 1975! HA! I can’t stay young, but at least I’ll always be younger!) (and I will also always be twelve mentally. That helps.) We will get married someday because I can’t do anything just once.

And we love each other. A lot. But who wants to barf reading my about page?

I also live with four cats, a dog, and a guinea pig. I had to think for a minute if that was everyone. Please send help. And litter.

I also live with a lot of stuff. When you moved in together over six months ago and still make constant goodwill piles, you need help. And litter.

I have degrees. In stuff*. They led to a job doing things**. I hated all of it so I am back in school. Maybe I am a glutton for punishment.***

My family’s still in Chicago, including a brother George and his wife Franchesca. My grandparents are in Gainesville, FL, roughly two hours from me. I’m friendly with many exes. I love the internet but don’t get myspace. I used to write posts in Word and spell check but the fonts go wonky now and I’m lazy so just please deal. Sad to say, since I’ve vetoed dates on account of their spelling/grammar. I pout if you don’t call me even though I have two friends who’ve known me for 10 years+ that I owe call backs from two weeks ago. I can multi-task like the devil but also take on too much and that can backfire in spectacular meltdowns.

I don’t have a problem saying no. I just prefer yes because I hate to miss out on things.

*Physics.

**Software engineering (coding, design, test) for a defense contractor.

***No maybes about it, baby. Where’d you stash the whip?

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