First, someone placed a voodoo curse on my internet connection.  Then, I had a what-am-I-going-to-do-with-myself crisis.

As one does on July 4th.  Or when they agree to forever link their life with another.

OK.  The scoop on the wedding:  There won’t be one!  TG, I was so looking forward to seeing you in a cape.  And Vegas will definitely happen sometime, so please keep practicing your lip curl.  But, we’re broke.  And both of us want a marriage - not the party that is so ingrained along with it.

(Not that I think there is anything wrong with fancy-schamcy weddings.   For you.  Please, have one and invite me!  Be sure it includes an open bar so ST will dance.)

In fact, you guys, sanctuary people because they are like family and would kill me if I kept it a secret, and my grandmother because she was having a really rough night and I was wracking my brain with gossip to occupy her, are the only ones that know about the ring.

We got the marriage license today.  If we get out of work early enough on Friday, we might pop down to the court then.

Truly, this is a marriage built on love, not romance.  Love and booze.  Love, booze, and the shared enjoyment of dirt and dirt-like substances.  Oh yeah, and animals.  I can’t believe how many freakin’ animals.  We might have to have kids just so the bipeds have a fair chance.

(No, we’re not having kids.  NO KIDS.)

So…if Friday happens, I’ll let you know.  Otherwise, it will be the next day we both have off.  His mom visits in two weeks, we’re visiting my family in a month.  It would be nice to have it done with so people won’t get any sort of party-planning-pants.

As soon as we made this all official, I had quite a meltdown about my life status.

I used school as an impetus to leave my old career.  And I have enjoyed it, but I’ve pretty much decided I would rather look for job in the field than apply to grad school.  At least see what’s out there.

But.  The whole no-condo-sale has put a big wrench things.  (Why is that a bad thing?  Wrenches are tools, isn’t that good?)

Financially, I haven’t been as stable as I planned.  Which now means ST is less financially stable than he planned.

It also has tied me to this area, which puts a big crimp in job searching.

To top everything off, I was supposed to take a class starting last week that I decided to drop.  I scanned the book, attended the first lecture, and knew in my heart of hearts it wasn’t related enough to field work to be worth the money.

This started me really doubting if staying in school was the right thing either.  Is aimlessly taking a class here and there really going to help things?

Well, I’ve decided for now the answer is yes.  A selective class here or there will help prepare me.  But there is no reason to take classes for the sake of a tuition bill and an A.  I’ll stick with the true ecology stuff, work more hours, and focus on the sanctuary.  I’ll also continue with the research - the hands-on stuff is probably my best resume stuffer.

Once the condo sells, the plan will be that I go straight into job-hunting mode.  If that doesn’t pan out, it’s back to being a poor graduate student.

And what does ST think of all this?  He thinks it’s great.  But of course, you know he was insane when he wanted to marry me.

I am very lucky in that ST met me right before the big changes in my life took place.  Our second date occurred the day I returned to the sanctuary.  Within two months, I was jobless and had two International plane tickets in my hand.

He has been prepared for this roller coaster since the beginning.  And he makes me feel I was too.