The past two weeks have been bad. Crazy, overworked, understaffed. I had a fuck up so huge that I still get a bit panicky and shakey during certain moments.
The problem with making an error that you’re aware should be life-changing is that sometimes life isn’t able to put up with your bullshit. Sometimes you need to go in and put in your hours and act like nothing happened. And I’ve been able to do that. Tom made that that ever-so-common statement I’m sick of hearing from men in my life:
“You’re stronger than that.”
He even went as far as to say that I was stronger than he would be in the same situation.
And this time, I didn’t roll my eyes or pout or break up with him. (OK, maybe I had a slight eye roll.)
Many times in my life, I’ve been upset because I felt that I’ve HAD to be strong. That strong was my only option. I wanted the ability to check off the give-up, sweep-in-and-save-me, run-away-to-Canada, or all-of-the-above options.
This time I knew. I knew all those other times were stupid and insignificant. This was the time that counted. And thank goodness for all those other times.
So I’m still here. And things are somewhat better.
In other news…the dog peed on my pages-n-ink journal – three years of my life gone. Including both my relationship with TG and the start of my relationship with Tom.
I finally saw Avenue Q and loved it.
Tom and I are planning a Vegas/Grand Canyon vacation and I’m very excited.
My father’s in the hospital. He had surgery for a collapsed lung and it hasn’t healed correctly yet. It’s been a week.
Life goes on…