Have you ever felt that any choice you made was going to be right and wrong?
That’s how it feels when you realize you want a divorce.
There’s no way to describe it and make anyone understand except those who also had to make this choice. Yes, I use the word, “had” and “choice”. A mandatory selection. One that you never thought you’d consider, but can no longer deny is staring at you from the ballot box.
And you can do your research. You can find out how other people handled this. And while you’re talking to them, you feel calm and good and know that you will make the right decision.
That feeling can sometimes last through the car ride home and putting away the laundry.
You will decide to trust your intuition – go with what “feels” right. Then he will call. Or not. You will ask if he will move into your apartment complex and he’ll say no.
2009 Progress update
My ex-husband and I still live in the same city, and have some of the same friends.
We are both remarried. He to a woman younger than him; me to a man older than me. Him with a child (a son, I believe) as he always wished (I hope); me childless with no plan to change that scenario as I always wished (and I hope Tom wants as well).
I truly don’t feel like I was ever married before. Of course, I don’t feel like I am married now.
Life is a series of scenarios. Of people. Of instances.
I don’t believe you can say happily ever after to anyone but yourself. That’s pragmatic and sad at the same time.
As writing this, I realize the date of this post was one day shy of a potential 3 year anniversary.
Is life about potential and anniversaries? Or pragmatic and sad?
Or is it simply technical? Technically, due to lawyers and paperwork, it was a 3 year anniversary. And technically, I couldn’t care less.
Or could I?