“Are you still up for tomorrow night?”
Turns out, he was only kinda up for it as well.
I like him, I really do. As well as you can like anyone whom you’ve seen three times in the past five months.
It hit me the week of the AC breakdown/New Jersey trip. He’d had spotty internet access and was emailing about once a week. As I sat down to respond to his latest, I had to sit back and close my eyes against all the shit that had happened. How did I sum that up?
That’s when I realized that it really wasn’t going to work. Casual or serious, I wasn’t going to get what I wanted from a relationship – support and distraction. Someone to either battle my fears with me or take me out for drinks and make me feel pretty so I can forget about them for a while.
2009 Progress Update
I got to this point in the document without figuring out to whom I was referring.