11:25pm

I should be asleep.  Instead I’m perfecting my ITunes library and remembering a time when Dashboard Confessional was on repeat.

On my one day off this week, I will go to Gainesville to discuss with my grandmother how she will live the rest of her life.  A life she doesn’t particularly want to live without my grandfather.

My father is fine with my deciding the fate of his mother’s laundry and eye drops.  Her bills and depends.  I am fine with him being fine.  My grandmother is fine with it too.

I am fine with it too.

I still wish I could turn back time.  I hated the insecurity Dashboard Confessional meant.  Hated the boy whom I so wanted to love because he caused the insecurity.  And as much as I wish I could go back knowing what I know now, I would gladly go back to a time when my insecurity was my biggest problem.

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