I guess I really should update more than once a month, huh? At the very least, my frugality should kick in and decide paying for this site means I actually use it.
I miss writing daily. Like many things, it’s habit. Once broken, hard to fix. I have the time now to do so – I no longer work at the sanctuary and Tom travels for work every week so I have my evenings to myself. But somehow I never think to write.
I turned 35 this month. It happened with little fanfare, as I wished. I guess I might have wanted a bit more trumpet blowing if I thought I were healthier, wealthier, and wiser than I was at 30. But alas, I don’t think that’s the case.
I’m getting there though. Before fixing this writing habit, I’m trying to fix a few healthy habits that fell by the wayside. Hate to throw him under the bus, but it is so much easier with Tom gone most of the time. As someone who was paid for physical labor over half his life, he has a hard time convincing himself to sweat without dollar signs attached. He also had a HUGE change in his eating habits when we merged – no red meat? What’s this green stuff? And while that was great for him, it was a step backwards for me and my 8-a-day.
The wealthier is a bit harder to manage. I am currently drawing a small salary from my grandmother. It became evident last fall that she needed extra help around the house. I couldn’t provide more support without making her my “job”, and so we agreed that’s what was best for now. I drive up to Gainesville once a week to spend 2 days with her. I also do things for her throughout the week that don’t require her presence – buying a toaster, getting rid of old items we’ve stashed in my trunk, etc.
I am enjoying this extra time with her immensely. Thankfully, Tom comes from a large, tight-knit family. He’s incredibly supportive of this departure from my having a “real job”.
While leaving the sanctuary as the IT Manager wasn’t something I was seriously considering at the time, several changes happened that made this decision easy for me. GM, (aka friend, mentor, big brother, hero, cohort who made the impossible challenges of working there bearable) had/has some pretty awesome opportunities in the works for him. Whether higher ups felt threatened by that, or were making a preemptive strike on his leaving, he wasn’t being treated well.
I wasn’t being treated well either, come to think of it. Several of us that helped build up much of the infrastructure were put down and negated on many changes that started to happen.
Since then, changes having been occurring at a rapid fire pace. I am still a volunteer, and still a volunteer coordinator. I hope that things will slow down and the dust will settle. But there are a lot of hurt feelings and I’m not sure the outcome of that yet – even for myself.
And the wiser part? Well, perhaps leaving the paid position at the sanctuary and returning to volunteer-only status is a big step in that direction. It gives me freedom and distance from some of the people out there while allowing me more time with the cats.
Other than that, I kind of feel like I’m back where I was when I left my software engineering job. Blank slate. It feels a bit silly to be here yet again. But I’d rather be here than stuck in another unhappy situation. I can only move forward from here.