Still Here

I came up to Gainesville late last Sunday night.  Gma moved into her new assisted living room that Monday.

She’s too tired to try and walk.  She doesn’t want to try and leave her room.  She’s barely eating.

And she’s starting to get confused.

She sits in her chair or lays in her bed.  She watches some TV.  She’s had every meal but one brought to her on a tray.

I thought I’d get a few days at home over the weekend, but AT&T screwed up royally and she will not have phone service until tomorrow.

I’m not even sure if she did have a dial tone, she’d call anyone.  But I still couldn’t leave her.

I’ve asked for her doctor to order her a wheelchair.  And to start the process for her re-enroll in hospice.

We’ve had a few nice moments together.  We watched a movie.  We shared some old photos.

We’ve had some horrible moments.  She’s asked me twice in the same day where her special pillow went.  It went nowhere.  A few times I’ve had to remind her she was not in rehab anymore.

It doesn’t help that she’s just sitting there.  She’s losing track of days and hours in part because she’s doing nothing to distinguish one part of the day from another.

It’s hard being here and having so many logistically things to focus on.  I wish she could be my only focus.  But there is so much left in her old apartment and we can’t just leave it here.  In this next week, I have an estate broker set up to take the nicer things to auction.  Two charities will come and (fingers crossed) take the rest.

Since I didn’t get to go home and grab my sleeping bag, this means I’ll be sleeping on the floor for the rest of the week.

Hopefully by the end of the week, I can go home for kinda sorta good.  Maybe have a week or so before I have to come back up.  Maybe I’ll get some time to just feel sad over the situation, instead of frustrated and overwhelmed.

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