Meat

I have often wanted to Facebook this (Facebook as a verb…kill me now) but I feel it requires a bit of explanation past general Facebook post verbiage politeness.

The prologue:  For over half a year now, I have not been a vegetarian.

I wish I was a vegetarian.  And maybe someday again I WILL be a vegetarian.  Or even a vegan.  (Genetic outlook on cheese – not so good.)

But I have a history with horrible nutrient absorption.  Again, no surprise given the genetic dice I am rolling.  I am sure this can be solved with multiple blood tests, shots, and specific doctor-approved supplements.   But the reality is I do not have time or money for blood tests, shots, or more expensive supplements.  I’m doing good to buy my buy-one-get-one-free vitamins at the grocery store and remembering to tell my doc, “oh yeah, lost 20 lbs.  Is that why my thyroid medication is messing with me?”

So!  Last May.  Fatigue.  Horrible fatigue.  Crying-because-I-want-to-go-to-bed-at-4-pm fatigue.  No money or time for blood tests or shots or fancy pills.

I ate some meat.  I felt better.  Vitamins B12, you iz my frind.

Ever since then, I have been back on team meat.

Except…not really.

Because for ALL of my grocery-buying years, whether I’ve been a true vegetarian or not, I’ve been avoiding meat as much as possible.

This means I can buy ground meat.  And I can buy chicken or turkey in most forms without too much “to-do”.

But suggest a cut?  Pork tenderloin is on sale?  Angus beef what now?

I AM LOST.

Some weeks I admit defeat.  We still eat vegetarian /vegan meals every week.  I can supplement that with poultry throughout a week or two no problem.

But when I know something Tom will really enjoy is on sale, or I feel I’ve gone too long (i.e. I’m dragging ass) without red meat?

Lord help me.  I’m wavering over the refrigerated cases for minutes.  HOURS.  What is a tenderloin?  What is a flank?  WHO IS CHUCK AND WHY DO I WANT TO ROAST HIM?  Did he do something embarrassing the first day of school?  Bet he did.

A short list of things I attempt to buy but run away because I’ve stared too long:

  1. Bacon (Nitrates?  Applewood smoked?  Hi Babe.  What?)
  2. Deli Meat (What animal did you come from and why did you eat an entire salt lick before dying?)
  3. “Cuts” of an mammal.  (I…how did you use this part before dying for me to consume?  Oh really?  Thanks.)
  4. “Roasts”.  Sorry, it just seems like a lot if time.  That’s a big commitment to the thought that I currently kill animals to survive.  Do you have anything I can cook in 4 minutes, eat in 2, and forget in 1?

In short, send help.  In the form of B12 shots.  Thanks.

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