A Big Problem

Here is the thing:

I cannot follow a recipe.

It is not that I DO NOT follow a recipe.  It is that I CAN NOT.

I am SURE I know better than…well, I wished to list specific recipe authors (such as Betty Crocker) but I am humbled by the fact that I AM NOT better than specific recipe authors.  I do think I have made specific recipes BETTER than specific authors, but I am sure I have not made every recipe by a certain author better than them.

But the thing is…I DO.

I DO make <insert specific recipe> better than <insert specific recipe author>.

But I cannot prove it.  I will NEVER be able to prove this.  Because Every.  Single.  Recipe. I start out thinking, “I will follow this recipe to the letter.”  But by step 3 I’m like, “WHERE THE FCUK IS THE PAPRIKA?@!?  PAPRIKA FOR EVERYONE!”

And it turns out great.


But do I know the recipe that created that great meal?  No.  No I do not.  I only know I decided on a recipe to NOT follow and then added X and doubled Y and maybe didn’t bake it but pan-cooked it without extra butter and didn’t clean out the bacon fat.

Where the FCUK is the paprika?

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