New Corporate Policy

Tom:  Damn!  I left your bra at work.

Me:  I shouldn’t have had any bras in the laundry!

Tom:  But you did.  A sports bra.  Don’t worry, it didn’t go in the dryer.  That’s why I forgot it.  It’s hanging off the door to the breaker panel.

Me:  What?!  What are you going to do when we have actual employees??!

Tom:…Tell them to hang their bras elsewhere?  That door is for YOUR bras.

Pizza, Pizza

Tom:  I’ll need your help when we get home.

Me:  OK, but we have to cook dinner.

Tom:  I thought we were having pizza?

Me:  That was LAST night.

Good news/bad news:

Good news!  Even in the midst of a schedule change and bare pantry we won’t eat pizza two days in a row!

Bad news!  One pizza = one meal.

Get Your Anti-Oxidants Right Here

It seems Tom and I have a slightly different approach to sussing out the important flavors in a recipe…

Me:  What do you want to eat this week?

Tom: Oh, I don’t know…um….what about that stew?

Me:  What stew?

Tom:  It has spinach* in it?

Me:  You mean the one with red wine?

Guess what I get to drink during dinner prep!

*It’s not spinach, it’s arugula.  And it’s not arugula in the original recipe, it’s kale. Which is what I’m using tonight as it is not exactly arugula season.  But I’m still drinking the wine.  And wondering how Tom managed to evolve from someone with a chest freezer full of perogies and fish sticks to someone suggesting spinach stew.

Dear #JohnGreen

I’ve said before I am a fan of the vlogbrothers – John and Hank Green.  Despite being older than them both, and somehow MORE yet also LESS nerdy than them both.

This past weekend, I successfully negotiated most of the weekend off from working the store by bringing to light I hadn’t had a weekend day off in almost two months.

Then I sat around the house all like, huh.  What do I do now?

Saturday I worked on a website for the Eagle River Business Association that I recently volunteered to administrate.  (Eagleriverbiz.biz)  And our own website.  And I cooked a few things.  And then Tom came home and was all like, “So you didn’t take the day off at all?”

Dear John Green who may be having a midlife crisis,

use “like” and “all” in place of “said”, “retorted”, and “admonished”.  You will feel a ton younger.  Hashtag NOT REALLY.

Love, Jessica In Progress.

And I retorted (was like), “Yes I did!”

Then I had to do it all again on Sunday.  And by 11am I had run out of things to do and had to figure out what I wanted to do for pleasure.

I remembered waaay back over the Long Winter of 2013/2014 that Tom and I started watching vlogbrothers from the start on our big screen TV through our PS3.  It was a short lived marathon because as of January 2014 Hiker Box, LLC became a real thing and we started a marathon of Giving Money to Other People so Even More Other People Would Give Us Money.

Ah, retail.

(Have I mentioned I truly love that we started the store?  Because I do.  Just today I sold people on good hiking socks that I WEAR EVERY DAY THEY ARE AWESOME.  And I feel, in a small way, that I made the lives of those people better somehow.  Through footwear. Really, Really, Good footwear.)

ANYWAY.

Sunday afternoon, all productive avenues demolished, I decided to pick up on watching vlogbrothers from the beginning.

Today, I watched November 1st: When Nerdfighter Fall in Nerdfighter-Like.  Where John Green tries to raise $100 for a train ticket for Nerdfighters to meet in real person.

Then I switched to my current subscriptions where the vlogbrothers video is “A Minor Crisis“. Where John Green mentions that their 501c(3) charity, The Foundation To Decrease World Suck, has $45,000 in the bank before their biggest fundraiser of the year.  And that he feels old because “Looking for Alaska“, his first YA novel, is 10 years-old.

Dear John Green,

As an old Nerdfighter, my advice to you is to watch those two videos back to back.  Midlife old feelings may not be abolished by such viewing, but like, I was all “How very cool.”

Love,

Jessica In Progress

Two Birds, One Stone

It is still snowing here and driving me a tad insane.  I went on a run two weeks ago and a nice long walk a few days later.  Since then?  We’ve gotten almost two feet of snow.

Since it is Throw Back Thursday, I will relate a story from Tom’s and my first date which has been sitting as a draft for far too long.  If I can’t go play outside, at least I can obsessively clean out my files.

On our first date, Tom asked me what I thought was the solution to the world’s overpopulation.

I gotta say it was a first in the get-to-know-you-as-a-romantic-partner conversations.  I was a little impressed.  And a lot annoyed.  I didn’t have an answer.  I was thrown for a loop and that will set a control freak’s lasers from stun to kill.

I think I asked him to repeat the question.  Then I gave him my first gut answer.

“Soilent Green.”

“Soilent Green?”

“Yes.  We euthanize and eat many other kinds of animals.  Why are we so special to be excluded?”

Needless to say, he was in love.

Was It The Swearing Or The Yelling?

Boss:  Is that…snow?  Is it snowing?

Me:  Yes…and I CALL BULLSHIT!

Boss:  Now you sound like a Wisconsinite!

We’ve got at least 2 inches now and it’s not stopping.  I am officially done with winter.  Please take it back from wherever it came.

What Now?

Tom:  Hey, the high on Wednesday is neg one!

Me:  THAT’S NOT A REAL HIGH.  HIGHS CANNOT BE NEGATIVE NUMBERS.

Tom:  Someone forgot to tell Wisconsin that.

(Send…stuff.  and things.  I have no clue what the fuck will see us through this but I’m sure more stuff and things will help.)

(In case you couldn’t tell, I’m kidding.  I’m loving it.  Unless you were going to send dollar bills or gold bullion.  THEN S O MOTHERFUCKING S PEOPLE.)