Laptop sent away.  Back now, can you tell?

Cat pee on kitchen counter.  (please repeat in between every other line)

Pot Rack installed.

New Sneakers.

Painful ankle.  Still.

Flu.  Worst 24-hour shit I’ve had in a long time.

Track lighting installed.

Cat pee on bedroom carpet.

New kitten.

Vet visits.

Resorting to facebook for social life.

Resorting to sent email folder to remember the week.

More Vet visits.

Roof fixed!  Yes?  For reals this time?

Waiting for rain.

Waiting for a break.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Waiting for more.

1)  While I have fed the cats every night, I’ve not cleaned a cage since last Friday because my “part time job” has been so hectic.  I am huffing from climbing the stairs to the condo from lack of exercise.

2)  We found out the dog has heart worms.

3)  Tom’s out of town until Saturday.  This means I will not eat right or shower.

4)  At 2pm this afternoon my left ear suddenly clogged up as if I’d just gotten out of the swimming hole.  It’s 8:31 and no change.

5)  We are prepping for our large fund raising event for which I help administrate both the guest list and 300+ item auction list.

6)  Everyone’s week seems much shittier than mine so I can’t bitch about it to anyone.

What are things Jessica has none of?

DING DING DING!

(Actually, that was me hitting my head on the desk.  More of a “CLUNK CLUNK SMOOSH.)

What I would write about if I had any of those three:

1) Ex-boyfriends

2) How it might not be appropriate to write about ex-boyfriends if I’m married

3) How after deciding I was definitely not cut out for the death-do-you-part gig, I am once again wearing rings on my left hand and washing underwear that I don’t wear.  Unless I run out of mine, at least.

4) How my husband likened sex with him to having a million dollars.

I think I’ll stop there and let you muddle that one over. 

What I’ve been doing, list edition:

1)  Hobbling.  My knee cap is not sitting right on my left leg causing some bone-on-bone action/throbbing pain.  I am lucky in the aspect that a brace and some strength training should solve it.  But FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK.  a)  It hurts.  A lot.  b)  Can’t I have ONE body part that remains unscathed?

2)  Working.  And getting a raise!  OK, so a small raise.  Very small, if you consider that I was used to 12% in the software field.  (Thank you, tax payers.)  But somehow, $.50/hour more is very fulfilling.  I always had a gut feeling there was an office job out there I could tolerate, perhaps even enjoy.  This is it.

3)  Secreting.  I have an amazing opportunity via the sanctuary that I can’t talk about right now.  It might now even happen, things are very nebulous.  But if it does, it will catapult my animal handling/training experience into the next level.

4)  Stressing.  No shit, right?  You’ve met me.  Or at least, you’ve read here.  Or maybe you’re reading here for the first time and are so captivated you go back in the archives a bit?  Pretty please?  Seriously, I know for a fact I haven’t outdone myself for over-doing it.  But I’m coming close.  Once again, I’m questioning the decision to stay in school.  I cannot keep scheduling my life 7am to 6pm and expect to have time to study/write/research.  The good news is that I’m certain I’ll survive this semester.  The bad news is that I may have to take a “B” in a class or two.  Exams come up in the next two weeks.  Time will tell.

Yesterday was filled with things I like.  Here is a sample:
 
1)  Cleaning.  Gag, right?  Well, tell me you don’t love your most beloved spaces just a bit more when they are no longer inhabited by lint balls you mistake for additional pets.  And also have clean underwear in which to prance in said beloved space.  What made this task extra wonderful today was that ST was 100% onboard with all swabbing of decks.  He folded laundry while I cleaned litters, then we both attacked the porch.
 
2)  Produce shopping.  We go to the Big Top flea market, right near our apartment.  ST schooled me in the art of a deal when it comes to carrots and apples – about four or five produce stands are set up regularly amongst the $1 toilet brush holders that have a complete ocean scene inside.  We go to Henry, a squat jovial man of some Latino descent with OK verbal English skills and so-so written ones.  I could probably pick up Spanish by reading more than the dollar amount on his signs.  We are regulars of his and as usual he thanked us for stopping by in his own way.  Today is was an extra red pepper handed over as I picked up 3 for a $1.00
 
(3 for a $1 red peppers!  That was a savings of at least 4 bucks right there.  What do you do with 3 red peppers?  Freeze them.  Then roast them.  Or the other way around.  Either way, at least three of my favorite pasta dishes include them and they are rather expensive at a regular grocery store.)
 
(Another aside:  As we left Henry today, after he had introduced his wife to us, we contemplated how we are special to him.  And that turned in to us being, well, short bus special.  And that he sneaks us extra food because he’s worried how we survive the rest of the week without him.)
 
3)  Hiking.  Technically, walking.  To me, hiking includes rocks.  Whether real mountains or just a gravely path.  But we loaded up the dog and headed for the Hillsborough River State Park.  This time, we took a path that included none of the actual river – a swamp restoration area – that drew far less people than the other paths.
 
4)  Bathing.  Not just getting clean – a nice long soak in a truly hot tub while wearing a good mask, followed by a beauty regimen for the legs, hair, nails, and brows.  Topped off with a request granted for full body moisturizing.

Things I haven’t written about:

1) My job as a mother’s helper.  It’s been going on for over a month.  The original ad stated up to 15 hours a week, but it’s been more like 3.  It’s a nice family, a little pocket cash has been nice, but not a long-term solution to my emptying bank account.

2) My bird-watching.  I am doing a project for the class that went to Costa Rica and I became intrigued with bird-watching while there so decided to give it a try.  It’s both fun and frustrating (how aware are you of the tens of birds h-i-g-h up in the trees?  That you can never get a good gander at?).

3) My grandfather has (had?) a fractured vertebra.  Yesterday they put cement in his back.  I haven’t seen them in probably a month.  They were very adament that I not come up, despite the previous two months of weekly, “So when will we see you again?”

4) I am up for an office assistant job I really, really, really, really want.

5) The whole job situation/school scheduling/volunteer time has got my head ordering vodka tonics 24/7.  I have alternate plans/times tables if I get the job, if I don’t, if the condo sells, if it doesn’t, if we win the lotto, if my grandparents take a turn for the worse, if Jupiter’s effects on Mars become too strong….etc.  If some movement doesn’t happen in some direction soon, I will explode from uncertainty principle effects.

6) Between injury (hello, ankle-I’ve-sprained-six-times-and-now-is-just-a-facsimile-of-an-ankle), study sessions (best score on an organic chem test yet!), and condo open houses, I haven’t spent a whole Saturday at the sanctuary in a while and it’s starting to wear on me.  The whole switch-gears things in general is wearing me down.

7) I bought a steam cleaner.  I am officially 47.

Things and stuff:

1) I got a 92 on my first bio II test.  Considering he doesn’t offer review sheets, old exams, or even post his slides on the course website, I’m pretty proud of that.  And now that I got a taste of how he tests, I’m sure I can do better.

2) My first organic chemistry test is on Monday.  I am sweating over this.  I feel very unprepared.  I see many flashcards in my future this afternoon.

3) No news on the job front.  Discouraging.  I had a bite, but jobs I’m most qualified for (and would bring in the most money) are strict Mon-Fri places.  With the way my classes are staggered, I can only come up with about 12 hours to dedicate to a job.

4) We are considering taking in another cat.  She’s terminal with cancer.  I’m not so much worried about going through the death process again as how the critters would all get along while she is alive.

5) ST and I continue on with only the smallest of bumps.  I’m beginning to believe that I really want to get married again.

6) Very little news on the condo.  One guy evidently liked it the best of all 2/1s for sale in that complex, but he’s still looking around.  I cannot tell you how much this hangs over my head - the money would make a huge difference right now, not to mention that I feel like I’ve got just one too many irons in the fire.

7) Crap.  Time creeps away from me in the mornings.  Bye!

Reasons today has completely sucked:

1)  I went to USF with the permit paperwork.  Then I had to sneak over to the chemistry department and beg an advisor to say I had taken the equivilent pre-requisite course.  I can’t get the permit until May 12th.

2)  Emails between me and SPC resulted in saying I had to go down to the campus in person.  Which now the earliest I can do that is May 12th.

3)  The thing is, there have been very few times in my life when my education has not wowed people.  I don’t think it should, but it has.  Now that I actually want it to count for something, no one cares.  It has been a slap in the face to have such a struggle to take a damn intro bio class.

3)  My dryer broke.  I’m pretty sure it’s the belt.  If not, there’s a whole nother level of suck involving my bank account right there.

4)  Not to be the kind of woman who lets a broken dryer get her down, I found a slide show on how to take apart a dryer.  But I am stuck on #1 - remove screws under the top panel.  The screws holding the top panel are alien screws.  Star shaped.  No flat head, phillips head or allen wrench can budge them. 

(ST, it’s entirely possible I’ve figured out what we’re doing tomorrow.  Um, if you bring quarters I’ll supply the fabric softener?)

5)  D & P are moving to Portland at the end of the month.  I am trying to put together a farewell party.  Fort de Soto won’t let me reserve a picnic shelter without fifty people (want to come say bon voyage?) and the back-up house is having patio renovations.  That leaves my place, which is fine except it’s not very big and not very child-friendly.  And for some reason I just feel like a failure for not finding something better/more creative.

6)  I cannot for the life of me get the automatic cat feeders to synchronize.  I think they are on pacific time.

7)  Now I’m just reaching for crap because I’m in a foul mood and want to bitch.

8)  There are millions of baby spiders all over my rose bush.  The rose bush that I have managed to keep alive for over a year which is the longest I have ever kept any plant alive.

9)  I am not a) in Ireland or b) drunk.

I am off to solve one of those and try to salvage something of the day…   

That’s the best I could do with a title.  Which is the best I could do if you asked me how I was right now.

(In fact, I just got off the phone with Grandma and that was exactly what I said.  She asked if I was sure.  “No, not really.”  “Oh, OK then.”  Heh.)

1) Sheba is fine for now.  X-rays every six months.  It’s my understanding it’s inevitable, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

2) She did though have an infection at her suture site and the vet said she had popped a stitch.  One thing I hate about this practice is that they do not give you an exam room for drop-off appointments.  So, the thing is, they gave her back to me like that, with the missing stitch.  And the vet had mentioned he had tried to build up the skin in the area he removed the mass.  So I looked at the area that first night, decided he SUCKED at suturing/reconstruction, and moved on.  I wasn’t about to take her back and see what other fun things they would do.  So now basically I feel bad for not speaking up and wonder if I should have done more while also I am wary of the vet - not because I doubt his skill, but doubt the environment allows for the best care.

3) Francesca and George are coming Friday.  (SIL and brother, for those without cheat sheets.)  I will pick them up and we’ll drive to Gainesville for a weekend with my grandparents.  I get to see George very little and Francesca even less, so I’m looking forward to this a lot.

4) Already I have been up in the air about a pet sitter.  ST offered, but it seemed ridiculous to have him drive two hours for some kibble.  I have ordered some automatic feeders which I thought might squeak by for durations of less than 48-hours but I don’t know if they will get here on time.  Gah.  I hate doing the friend roulette.  Which is why I put it off like this.  Which probably makes it worse that I don’t give anyone any damn notice beyond throwing keys out the window as I leave town. 

5) Regardless, Sheba now is coming to Gainesville.  She needs medicine twice a day and however sweet and luvey she may be to you, it all changes once you are in possession of an eyedropper full of ickiness.  Grandma has said it is fine, but I know she will worry about it.  In hindsight, I should have not said anything and just been like, “She stowed away in my bag!  Imagine that!  And she packed food and her favorite bed!”

(By the way, whenever there are excessive parentheses?  It means I’m in a good mood.  It’s something I noticed about my writing years ago.  Psych 101 students, analyze away.)
 

1)       I am dumb in the best way.  After my greed of Tuesday, I started rehashing numbers to plan cat teeth cleaning (boo) and birthday spa/shopping spree (yay).  That’s when I realized that my great savings plan only counted on paychecks until my planned departure week.  You know, the week that I will work and then be paid in the next pay period.  Mo’ money!
 
2)       I received the renewal policy for my car insurance.  November marked the three-year anniversary of my big accident.  (I actually had a second one – with a guardrail and therefore unreported - a month later.  It was possibly caused by some bad repairs to Veronica the first time, or the brake line that was pinched by Allied Tires when they rotated my tires the day before.  But since I couldn’t prove any of that, I opted to just get her fixed myself.  Not that this has anything to do with the story, but mentioning it reminds me of how low I was feeling three years ago.  Anyway….PORCUPINE!)  I was eagerly awaiting the drop in my premiums, while pessimistically gearing up for it not being much, especially after Wisconsin’s speeding ticket.  My policy is $150 less this time around.  Whoo for good driving!  Or at least, not getting caught.  Or at least, getting caught in states where the points don’t transfer to my license.
 
3)       Gmail has now thwarted my romantic life for the second time.  The first time was when it was brand spanking new and it delayed a morning email from the new boy until about 8pm.  The email suggested a little evening something-something, rare for us on weekdays due to the logistics, but of course it was too late by the time I got it.  I let him know toot sweet and it was the closest I ever heard him say a bad word about Google.  Why is this second time a positive thing?  Because it means he wasn’t ignoring me.  (“He” not being the new boy.  “He” just being unnamed in that annoying vagueness habit of mine.  I’d make a joke about the new boy definitely ignoring me, but I think when it’s been a year since your last interaction that falls into an entirely different category.)  (I’m using quotes correctly there, yes?  I can’t stand excessive quotes almost as much as I love excessive parentheses.)
 
4)       I found my gloves!  Which, Jules, are Harbinger.  I couldn’t tell you before because, well, they were lost.  Where were they?  Umm…on my closet floor?  And no, my closet is not so grody that you can’t see the floor.  I had evidently placed them on top of my exercise/accessory cart at some point and they fell between the cart and luggage.  This is perhaps evidence that I am dumb in not exactly the best way, but they are found so I’m OK with that.
 
5)       I realized walking home from the gym (in my condo complex) that perhaps I should make a bigger deal about this whole weight-training thing.  I had given it up because of my back.  I bought a handful of dumbbells and did small 10-15 minute toning sessions at home instead.  I haven’t had a need to wear these gloves in over five years.  It’s been a month now and I’m feeling fine. 
 
6)       I seem to be the only woman alive who can move the “Careful, Wet Floors” triangle thingy from the middle of the bathroom floor.  This is positive because it amuses me greatly.  I kind of want to leave it there all day.
 
7)       Work.  Those who caught my Monday night mope know it has been bugging enough to actually write about, something I never do.  But since Monday, I’ve had a bit of mojo around the office.  Today it culminated in having two work products reviewed with zero deficiencies, fixing a major problem I did not cause, finding a major problem I did not cause and presenting a good strategy to my boss, having my boss’s official response to another test be, “Kick ass!”, and receiving yet another Outback gift certificate for the effort that went into some meetings lately.  (I now have close to $200 in gift certificates to Outback.  I never use them because I’m not a huge Outback fan and there is not one close enough to me for a convenient take-out dinner.  But today I realized that with this much plastic swag, I can live it up a Roy’s with a few guests in the near future.)
 
And!  Because people have been so fucking funny lately I want to lick them, list of positivity, part II: women who are so fucking funny:
 
1)       Mimi SmartyParts:  “Fuck you if you don’t know what a Triscuit looks like.”  Amen.
2)       Miss Zoot:  I now aspire to cause a gas leak scare and the fire department to be called.
3)       Heather:   “I return to my apartment and duck inside quickly, paranoid that an early rising neighbor will see me. Without dropping my bags, I hurry into the bathroom, remove the toothbrush from my mouth, rinse and spit.”  If you do not love this woman to bits you are dead to me.