I need a(nother) tattoo. Or a road trip to California. Perhaps a one night fling.
I am staring at a blank page. I’m up in the air about where I want to live, what I want to do, who I want to love.
And like any writer, blocked from the first word for fear it will be the wrong one, I just stare.
I need to make that first bold scratch and not re-read until chapter four.
In other news…
Many things are making me happy tonight. These include
1) Latkes made with organic potatoes, onion and eggs. Good for mind, body and soul.
2) Hitting the CD shuffle jackpot with “Birdhouse in my soul” by TMBG.
3) The broken-in softness of my pj bottoms.
4) Buying Christmas cards.
5) Lighting all the decorative candles around the house.
6) The feeling that, for this moment, I am completely happy alone.
I’ve had a million witty tidbits just sparking in my brain today. Perhaps because I’m too busy to actually sit down and write?
Well, that’s a lie. I always have time to write. If I say I don’t, there’s something out there that I don’t want to admit and I know the minute I start writing it will sit on my page until I’ve acknowledged it.
I have been writing a lot of lists today. I’m in heaven. I have five I could share, so be thankful I’m restraining myself.
My giving spirit has included of late:
1) Lunch for three.
2) 3 pumpkin pies (2 for a potluck I’m attending, one for a friend to bring to his).
3) A fairly large loan to struggling friends.
4) Advice to not wear a dress on a first date (to a guy).
5) Dinner for five.
6) A dollar in the first Salvation Army Bell-Ringer pot that I’ve seen.
7) A promise of paying for a resume-builder.
8) A spiced eggnog latte.
9) An invitation to lunch for my current and former bosses.
10) The promise to feed a sick animal so someone else can sleep in.
11) An email (see above post)
I’ll write more later. I’m not ignoring an issue. I swear. It’s ignoring me.
I’ve tried to post a few times today, but everything in my head is sad and unfinished.
Good things about today:
1) Hanging out with friends
2) Spiced eggnog latte
Bad things about today:
1) Finding out it’s not likely I’ll have my maiden name back by Christmas.
2) Laundry did not do itself.
3) New neighbors hammering at 2am.
Walking through a bookstore today, I saw a book who’s main character has just had several horrible things (lost job, boyfriend left) occur in her life and then she gets amnesia. She realizes she has this wonderful clean slate and she can do whatever she wants.
I ran up to a friend, “I want amnesia!”
“I want to start over, clean slate.”
“Yeah, but it would suck when your memory came back.”
“No. It’s not coming back. I want to go away and start over.”
“Oh. You want a witness relocation plan for your brain!”
Sign me up baby. And while we’re at it, could these 10 lbs. that came out of no where be relocated too?
Thing I have learned so far from NaNoWriMo:
1) I do not spell toilet correctly.
2) I can’t blame the cat for my word count.
3) I can be exceedingly dull and trite at times.
4) It’s fun to let characters write themselves.
5) It’s difficult to make them do what you want.
6) Name changes aside, I need a whole lot of editing before certain people can read my novel.
7) I smirk calling it a “novel”.
8) I’d rather have written a comedy.
9) Not that it won’t make you laugh.
10) I cannot simply make the MCs passion painting, instead of writing, to make her not be me.
11) Giving her short black hair helps a little.
12) I need to schedule more massages.
13) After 2 hours and only 200 words, I am not fit to go out in public.
14) I can be incredibly gifted at times.
(You’re just going to have to take my word on it)
Let’s say you’re going to have a dinner party. Grown-up like.
But for 8 people, you can only think of 7 chairs. And that includes:
1) Two real chairs with cat hair-infused cushions
2) Two green plastic patio chairs
3) One computer chair
4) One stool from your vanity
5) One small step ladder
Do you pull out the huge rubbermaid container full of action figures, throw a pillow on it, and call it chair #8? Will your friends find it charming, the dinner a success, and be amazed at your “can-do” attitude?
Or, will your friends pity the tacky chairs, the slightly burnt rice, and the frantic look in your eyes?
Shut up darling. Because they love you no matter what. Convince yourself to do the same and then you’ve accomplished something.