The biggest stumbling block for me making this place a little more public was to tell the certain boy. I was fighting down to the wire to get things edited and give him time to read before my April 1st announcement.
Some say it wasn’t necessary to give him a heads up. But for all my sarcasm and lack of grace (both here and in real life), it’s never my intent to hurt someone. And as a relationship I attempted as I also negotiated a divorce, he got the brunt of the writing. I don’t need Freud to see I used obsessing over one relationship to cover up my confusion over another.
When I did tell him, his response was amazing. It made me very glad I went through the trouble and solidified the reason he’s named CB, albeit without quite the same romantic connotations these days.
That same night, I got my first comment from Skip. On the post where I call him Harrison Ford.
CB and Skip are friends so that’s probably how he found out. They were roommates for a while and live kinda in the same area now. (I could try and explain how I did not exactly date-hop friends/roommates. But whatever. I am a shameless hussy who has a thing for nerds and knows where to find them.)
I didn’t think to tell Skip about the blog because I frankly didn’t think I’d written about him much. I did remember the Harrison Ford piece, and thought it was flattering enough that he wouldn’t need a heads up. And from his cute comment, it seemed I was correct.
But I had written a little more about him than I remembered. And as he perused and commented, this conversation arose:
Skip: I actually don’t recall what sparked it, but I just did a short trawl through a selection of your JiP archives, and left a few comments here and there. I don’t know if you get notified of those, but I thought I would draw your attention.
Me: I do get notifications when comments are made. But thanks for the heads up.
I’m sorry to have trivialized your recovery over our breakup for the sake of a story. Artistic license is like love and war. In fact, isn’t most artistic license applied to love and war? Since you commented, I assume you don’t mind the story remaining public. But let me know if you’d like it pulled.
Skip: Nah, I’m good. Just as long as you realize, it wasn’t quite the reversal. Believe me, I understand the needs of story, but it’s more important to me to be clear by you, behind the surface. As that’s so, then if you feel the need to delete the comment to preserve narrative unity, I’m cool with that.
Me: I certainly don’t need to delete the comment! Might just edit this conversation to be a post someday though.
Skip and I remained friends – a touch more distant than some exes due in part to the fact he settled down and had a daughter pretty darn quick. But mostly because he ended up residing in Chicago of all places and for a good 5-7 years I relied on my family coming to visit sunny FL in winter instead of visiting up north because my schedule was so demanding.
Thinking about it now, perhaps that’s why I want to hike so bad – I’m trying to spend all my built-up summer vacations retroactively.
But still. For me – once a friend, always a friend. And once an ex, always a friendly ex. He’s been incredibly supportive these past weeks with kind words. In general everyone and anyone I’ve reached out to has been supportive and kind. And it’s one of the reasons I blog (and facebook) – in order to reach out – both to get and give and to remind us all that life is for sharing. In a good way.
We emailed each other yesterday…
Me: I found a few letters Gma sent Gpa while they lived apart at some point. Maybe he was in Washington and she wasn’t yet? At any rate, she talks of the children and calls my father “Skip.” It was just an odd/happy/sad coincidence I thought I’d share. Threw me for a loop, but kinda in a good way.
Skip: I’m glad it was kinda in a good way. And I’m happy you shared that with me!
OK, maybe I’m not friendly with all my exes. And maybe I don’t share with all of them. But it’s sure sweet to have those that I am and I do.