It’s dark and cold and snowy. And I reached for a tissue.
Not to blow my nose, but because my eyeballs were suddenly very, very wet.
People, I have exercised (a 30 minute cardio video on Amazon Prime) and showered (a requirement even though I only step-touched through all the jumping jacks) and here I am writing! But the one indulgent, immature activity I cannot give up while Tom is away is TV marathons.
It’s so fun and nicely compact yet drawn out. 42 minutes of leisure, a quick break for water, to wash a dish, to shower, to write (hi!), and then a reward of another episode. Repeat until it’s way past my bedtime. (Note: I will also go to bed a decent hour this week! I mean it! Right after this episode.)
Tom and I have very different viewing interests, so when he’s away I really amp up. Right now I am working through the TV show “Parenthood”. And I just watched season four’s Christmas episode.
Christmas! It’s so far away! And yet here I am, snug in a cabin in the middle of the snowy woods. It feels like I’m getting my delayed season’s greetings from all my holidays in Florida.
And I can’t help but to WANT to stretch out the season. It’s my favorite time of the year. I want halls decked and carols sung and good will towards men. I want to hear bells ringing. (Do you think I will find a place with sleigh rides up here??)
I misted up a bit just writing that.
It’s my favorite time of year and I am one huge sap over it. I tear up at Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. Bruce Springteen’s version. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. But I love it. I love that I’m not normal and sappy and cry at the drop of Frosty’s hat.
Please remind me how much I enjoyed this time come March. When it’s still cold and dark and snowy and I’m reaching for tissue over an entirely different matter.
Sun sets now at 4:40pm.
Today I am staring at a blank screen. I do not want to just recap my day, but I haven’t taken the time to form more coherent words.
Writing takes a discipline that I have been lacking. I very much used this first week of Tom’s work travel to revel in bad behaviors. I showered three times this week. Three times. That would be grosser if I also hadn’t slacked off on the exercise thing too. (Although I did go to yoga class yesterday, after not showering Friday, then didn’t shower until after this morning’s run. Not a proud moment. But man did this morning’s shower feel good.)
I also did very little cooking. I relied heavily on snacks. The cooking I did do was pathetic and un-tasty because I wasn’t really cooking so much as chopping things and putting them in a pot.
But as the sun sets (or did almost an hour ago) on my first week solo, I am looking forward with anticipation. Perhaps one nice thing about being 38 is that acting like your 18 only feels so good for so long. I bought a huge amount of fresh produce today. The awful chili I made has been doctored and tastes rather good now. (Whew! As I poured some vegetable protein crumbles in there along with two cups of my frozen corn, it occurred to me that if it still tasted foul all I accomplished was to make MORE foul chili.)
So my hope for this next week is more (good) cooking, more showers, more exercise, and more (good?) writing. I wish you the same.
I’m having quite a nice solo Saturday thus far.
For the third week in a row, I’ve attend a yoga class. It’s at 8:15 in the morning. Perfect way to start my day. Except I haven’t figured out the correct wake-up procedure. It’s Saturday! I want to sleep in! (Which for me means no alarm and waking at 7am.)
But to have coffee, breakfast, and get out the door in time for Sun Salutations is a rush. Last week I managed some coffee and yogurt and left the “real” breakfast for a decadent french toast afterwards.
This week, I skipped the coffee. And substituted veggie omelet for toast after the fact.
The class was hard. It is always hard and will continue to be for a long time. (Today is the first time she lead us through bow pose and the first I’ve tried in over a year. It…well…it didn’t. And that is hard to wrap my head around. It is horrible and very anti everything yoga is about, but it felt a bit better that the other students fumbled too and we opted for one-leg stretches.)
Despite this humbling frustration, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was…experiencing the hard better?…minus the caffeine drive. Giving up coffee is something I’ve thought of several times but it’s never the “right” time. Funny how it’s never the right time to inconvenience ourselves yet we (I) can over-complicate life so that all we are doing is running from one inconvenience to another.
When I got home, I made breakfast and then a pot of decaf.
So far, so good.
(I bet Tom is so glad to read those words far, far away from maddening crowd inside my head.)
Last year I attempted to blog for 9-weeks straight in celebration of 9 years blogging. I mostly made it.
This year, I’ve gotten my act together (has nothing to do with Tom being out of town and surfing the web a bit more) to sign up for November’s NaBloPoMo. The women’s blogging community, BlogHer, has an official HERE IS MY NAME AND BLOG URL AND I’M DOING THIS list. (I’m # 499.)
If you are in the market for new reading material, take a gander at their list. I do not mind waiting for favorite bloggers to write hysterical or newsworthy posts once in a blue moon. But I also like having fresh content daily if I’m so inclined.
If you are a blogger, consider signing up. Or not signing up and still posting every day for the month of November. You will be in good company for a month of blank-page struggling, triumph, and wine. OK, the wine is optional. In all serious, Eden has great points in her “Five Reasons for Joining …” post I linked to above. And I heartily, heartily agree with #3. “The More Bad Work You Do, the More Good Work You Do.” Writing poorly means you are writing which means at some point you are writing well. (Oh really, Jessica? Where is your good work then? Why, it’s in the land of shut up and YOU try writing and putting it out there for the innernets.)
If you aren’t currently a blogger but like the idea and yet are scared, start now! Hundreds of people have committed to write every day for a month. You will be in good company. You can feel like you have joined a community versus “just ‘lil old me out here in this scary space”. If you want readers, I will be glad to link to anyone who starts blogging this month. If you want a cheerleader but don’t want publicity or to be associated with this here space, email me (jessica in progress at g mail dot com – you know what to do) and I’ll dust off my poms poms.
And lastly, if you are simply a dedicated blog reader, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. I hope you find some good writing here along with the bad, and that you enjoy the journey this month will lead us on.