Look, I know it’s not like I hiked out into the tundra for a year. But still. I am having some reintroduction problems.

1). I own too much clothing. I needed some shorts so as not to moon the golfers from my porch and had to dig through five pairs of pants to find some. Five pairs! How do you choose which to wear? The whole “wear the pair that’s not as dirty” method doesn’t work.

2). Other shoes feel weird. Even though my trail runners were (definitely past tense. They need to be retired) just glorified sneakers, I’ve never worn the same pair day in and day out like that. When I put on my regular running shoes I thought I had put my inserts in backwards.

3). My car goes much faster than 2 mph. Perhaps not best to have your first drive after a month be 2 hours on the highway. Almost did 100 past a cop.

4). My shower is too hot. And while I shaved my legs first thing, I didn’t actually shower and wash my hair until Tuesday morning. And somehow Campsuds left my hair feeling cleaner than shampoo/conditioner.

5). Conversely, my AC is too cold. The artificial breeze is getting on my last nerve.

6). I am cured of my 9L a day water habit! I was down to maybe 3L by the end of the trip? Not sure that’s going to stick with the FL heat, but we’ll see.

7). In packing to drive up, I somehow was compelled to grab a granola bar and my leatherman.

8). While I lost weight and can fit into skinny jeans, I’m practically bicep-less now. Blech.

Unless the relationship was too brief to really know each other, or ended in infidelity/abuse/death*, an ex is the perfect friend in times of crisis.  Someone whose already seen you most vulnerable (“What do you mean you don’t love me?  You know that blanket over your head doesn’t make you invisible, right?”), but doesn’t have his shit all wrapped up in your shit like your current significant other.

So when I saw TG online, I had to reach out for a little support.

Me: Home now.  Gma in hospital.  Broke her hip.  Going to Gainesville tomorrow.  Tell me a dirty joke, quick.  Need a laugh.

TG:  I have no dirty jokes. You’ve seen me naked. Isn’t that funny enough, frankly?

Me:  YOU ARE AWESOME.

TG:  Well. Yes.

* (Although come to think of it, one of my relationships DID end in infidelity and while it took longer to get over, we’re still very good friends.)

It rained all day at Standing Bear Farms. Somewhat appropriate. I think sunshine would have depressed me more. Some hikers zeroed because of the weather, so I kinda felt like I was still on the trail. Until late afternoon when others started the usual obsessing over miles and next shelters. And all I could do was re-tie my pack straps in hopes it doesn’t get damaged in flight.

When I started this journey, I shared I was nervous something other than physical ailment would make me quit. I was so sure I’d love the hike that if I didn’t, I would doubt everything I thought I knew about myself.

What I didn’t share is that I had another fear. That I would love it so much that I’d be at a loss as to what to do with myself afterwards.

I’m closing comments to this post. I don’t want to use the blog as a way to update everyone on Gma. This is a place for me write, not some weird public mass email on my family problems.

I know many of you will be concerned about both her and me. I appreciate it. I’m just not sure I can handle it.

Wendy was an idiot.

Just this morning (the 13th) I found out Yoda was *this close* to waking me to watch the sunrise. I regret he didn’t.

Usually in the morning, I’m first of our trio out the shelter. I have my routine down pat and since I’m the slowest, I like having the extra leeway in my schedule.

But it was Peenut’s last day so we all tried to leave around the same time. It was also our last day in the Smokies and we knew the hike would be an easy one.

Leap frogging each other a bit, I ended up in back as usual. But I found Yoda, Merry, and Sweet’n'Sour waiting for me at the Mt Cammerer lookout tower side trail.

Yeah, we voluntarily walked an extra mile. Actually, one of my lessons learned from this trip was to plan enough time for side trails and vistas. So when this opportunity arose, I went for it.

The rest of the climb out of the Smokies just rocked. Perfect weather. Perfect music. Perfect views.

At the first road crossing, Yoda was waiting for me. I sat down, pack still on, to eat a granola bar. I also got cell reception for the first time since Thursday morning.

When I saw a Gainesville area code in my voicemail, I knew I was fucked.

Gma had fallen and was taken to the hospital that night.

After much pacing and frantic phone calls, I got ahold of Gma. She broke her hip, refused to let any other family be notified, had hip replacement surgery, and was spending a few days in the hospital to rehab.

To all of you that hate when I over-share bad news, BLAME HER. It’s my instinct after years of family medical issues being down played so no one “worries”.

Merry and Sweet’n'Sour met up with us as I was buried in Yoda’s armpit trying not to cry. They quickly figured something was wrong because cold weather or not, we all stank and no one was voluntarily getting that close to each other.

(Side conversation: after insisting rather, um, aggressively that Yoda check the directions to the hostel again, he gave me another quick hug.

Me: I’m sorry I’m so nasty.
Him: You’re not, you’re just stressed. It’s allowed.
Me: No, I mean physically gross. I figure you’re used to the verbal abuse by now.
Him: True.)

The next hour or so was a bit of a daze. We got to the hostel, checked in, and Curtis gave me some options for how/when he could get me to an airport.

There was no cell reception right at the hostel, so I had to walk back down the road, call Tom, request info, wait, walk back, call back, find Curtis, get his OK on timing, walk back, call back, call back again for flight confirmation.

I also showered somewhere in there.

I had a flight booked for 7pm the next day. You might think it was horrible to have to wait. But it wasn’t. I cherished every minute I had left.

Yoda convinced Merry and
Sweet’n'Sour to share the cabin with us. Not sure if it was because he thought it would me cheer me up or because he didn’t want to deal with the crazy solo. Enh. Potato potahto.

The rest of the evening was spent cooking/eating frozen pizzas, drinking PBRs, and letting the other hikers pillage my food/supplies I wouldn’t try and fit in my pack for the trip home.

Thank you Rocket

Tre was the first one up. Padre and the newlyweds were next. The newlyweds were going to push a 20-mile day to make it to Standing Bear Farms hostel that day. They got some bad fuel advice in Gatlinburg for their stove and were itching to get it remedied.

Peenut seemed enticed by a 20-mile day, but the three of us agreed 13 miles to two shelters north was respectable. We weren’t quite to the point that it was a given we’d stick together no matter what, but everyone definitely made the others aware of plans.

Most others at the shelter seemed to have the same destination in mind. Tre was hiking to just the next shelter, then backtracking to do trail work between.

Tre will remember me as the girl disappointed that the Smokies don’t have porcupines. I requested he work on that for my next visit.

I was ahead of most for the morning, getting to the next shelter for lunch. Then in the afternoon most of our main crowd passed me. Sweet’n'Sour and I talked a bit before she hiked past. First woman I met who was thru-hiking solo. (She and Merry became hiking partners after a few days on the trail.)

I felt great all day, and made good time getting to the shelter. If it weren’t for the No Primitive Camping allowed, I would have been interested in moving on. As it was, I was content to know I definitely was getting my trail legs.

Yoda, Peenut, and Merry were all there. Merry was a little concerned since Sweet’n'Sour should have also arrived by then. While looking at the map to determine possible side trails she took, she showed up. Just stopped to admire scenery.

The day had never really warmed up, and all of a sudden I felt like crap. I was out of water, so Yoda gave me some of his to make a vitamin drink and then filtered my bottles full for me. Peenut made me coffee with honey to warm me up as well. Even Bottlecap-who pulled a 20 mile day from a different shelter-lit his alcohol stove just for me to warm my hands before the official camp fire got started.

Damn if I’m going to choked up about a bunch of misfits and their small, sweet gestures. And yet.

Finally I felt good enough to cook. The meal didn’t taste great, but must have been what I needed. Come to think of it, it was the first day in several where I did not make a point to eat protein for lunch. Ah, the duh moments of hindsight.

The fire got started and Yoda made sure I had a good close seat. Probably had nothing to do with the fact his toes would have froze the previous night without burrowing under my toasty ones.

Then Merry and Sweet’n'Sour shared that they had another way to warm us. Moonshine from Gatlinburg!

The last few sips were saved for a new arrival. Malfie, from the UK. Just out for a few days to see Clingmans Dome, he had his harmonica. We traded moonshine for bluegrass.

We knew it was our last day with Peenut and all enjoyed our little family as long as we could.

It would also be my last night on the trail. I just didn’t know it then.

A little inspiration for someone lagging behind?

Bright and chipper for the 9 am shuttle back to New Found Gap, I met the guys for breakfast. They looked a little less prepared. Yoda was considering going home for a few days to take care of personal matters. Peenut was section hiking anyway and debating being picked up in Gatlinburg.

By the end of breakfast, they both changed their minds but weren’t packed in time for the shuttle. They stood with me waiting for it though. I felt like a kid with her two dads waiting at the bus stop.

The shuttle, while convenient and comfortable, was a big time suck. It had to stop and wait for people in Gatlinburg and in Pigeon Forge. It also went to Cherokee, making a loop between the three towns. I’d like to go back someday and check out the area, but right then I just wanted to get back on the trail.

Finally, 11ish, I was dropped at New Found Gap. And hit with the chilliest wind. I knew once I got on the trail I’d warm up but I couldn’t help myself. I layered up with jacket, scarf and gloves.

Aside: the scarf and gloves were an awesome addition to my clothes. I finally learned on chilly mornings to add them to my regular hiking clothes. Easy to stash when I warmed up, but I didn’t have to shiver when stopped.

The chill was actually welcome with the climb out of New Found Gap. What wasn’t welcome was the amount of day hikers I encountered. After a day in town, I was ready for a little trail solitude.

I also ran into a ridge runner who was headed to my chosen shelter. Tre was very cool and I was happy to know at least one person because I wasn’t convinced the guys wouldn’t change their minds again.

There was no real new wildlife on the hike, but the views were spectacular. It was the first day of walking ridges, small pathes on top a mountain. It meant no trees at eye level to obstruct the view.

The thru hiking newlyweds with the St Pete sister, Albatross and Moonshine, caught up and passed me. And when I got to the shelter, Peenut and Yoda were there! A combination of their good hitch plus my lunch stop at another shelter meant we didn’t cross paths on the trail.

Padre, a 74-year old thru hiker who had been with us at double springs gap was there too. It was starting to feel like a little family.

It was going to be a cold night. In the upper 30s. The guys set out for firewood. All the shelters in the GSMNP have a stone wall with a fireplace built in.

Also, the shelter started to fill up. With each new person/couple (Ryan, two female section hikers, Merry and Sweet’n'Sour, Sleeping Bear, Eternal Sunshine) we scooted and made room. I felt very happy to have two trail friends I could snuggle between and not be concerned with sleeping next to a stranger.

Three days. I’d known Peenut and Yoda for three days at this point. Again, I had always heard how you can make quick friends and a new family on the trail. But until the Smokies, I didn’t understand.

With the fire going, I warmed my feet good before crawling into my sleeping bag. Albatross gifted us with some mandolin playing before we buried in for the cold night.

Hikers out on Charlie’s Bunion

Woke up to rain. Continued to walk in the rain. Then it rained harder. Mud up to my ankles.

Whoo hoo.

I never understood why hikers stop in Gatlinburg because it’s so far off the trail (15 miles). But there are regular shuttles from New Found Gap.

I also never knew why the mountains were called Smokey. Luckily Jeff warned me there are only 40 clear days out of the year at Clingmans dome. (Highest point on the entire AT)

The hike wasn’t hard, but I can’t imagine how miserable I would have been if I had tried to stay on the trail.

I gave a little trail magic myself that morning. A young woman (from St Pete no less) was in a foursome hiking and she was having a rough time. She had washed her pants the night before and they were still sopping wet. All she was going to hike in were short shorts. I offered my rain pants, but she refused. When she left to use the privy, I put my pants on top of her pack and told her friends to make sure she wore them.

I saw them on the trail and she was very thankful and much more chipper. Peenut said it was 55 degrees without the rain or wind at one point.

Yoda had set out early and gone to town, but the rest of us trickled into New Found Gap around 2.

Now we were a group of seven, with a shuttle not due until 5:30.

Once stationary, we started getting cold. Yup. I pulled those fleece leopard print PJs on over my soaked, muddy pants. Felt awesome.

After less than a half hour, we had two people ask if we wanted rides. Peenut and I hitched with a young girl who was driving cross country. Wish I could remember her name.

We split up in town because he had a drop box to pick up. I trudged up (still in PJs) to the Grand Prix hotel, got a room, a shower, laundry done (the St Pete girl gave back my pants before the hitch), and then hit the strip.

It was fun to be in a town and not need groceries. I could just wander. Oh wait. First, I left the hotel barefoot and hit the first general store I found for flip flops. $5 well spent. My trail runners got completely dry by the next morning.

I had dinner and when I finished my walk at the outfitter, Peenut and Yoda were there. We ended the night with a few drinks and hot tubbing at their hotel. Not a bad end to the day.

I trudged up to Clingmans Dome in the cold, wet, and wind. This is the view I was rewarded.

I woke up feeling pretty bad ass. And a little damp. Is that a side effect of bad-assedness?

It had rained some in the night and either we were in mist or a cloud. I couldn’t tell. A turkey came up gobbling less than 20 feet from the shelter but all I could get a picture of was a misty black blob.

Still. I was pumped. Double Springs Gap Shelter was a few miles further than I planned the night before but I talked big about how easy the terrain looked.

I think you see where this is going?

Actually, for this entire trip I have had one real negative experience-the trail is often too rocky, too wet, or too full of roots (or all three at once!) to look up around you.

And the morning trail was bad. I rolled my left ankle, found several mountains I swear someone snuck in there since my map was created, and the mist turned to rain.

I was beat by the time I stopped for lunch. And defeated. Bottlecap wasn’t feeling much better, but Peenut came up all bright and chipper. I kinda hated him for a few minutes.

After lunch, I had to slow down. My left Achilles tendon was hurting from the ankle roll. But a good uphill climb finally allowed me to stretch it out.

Then, for the first time on the trail, I gave up trying to look/listen to the woods around me. I put in my earbuds and let the music set my pace. When I got to the original shelter stop I sat a few minutes, looked around, and decided I wasn’t done.

The shelter was almost full when I got there, but they made room. Then Yoda, Peenut, and Bottlecap were heroes by getting a fire going with soaked wood.

Then it started to rain. Again. And get cool.

I was already feeling a little sad the guys were going to Gatlinburg the next day and I was hiking on. I hadn’t found hikers I clicked with like them. I didn’t want to take a town day just to stick together though. But it seemed the weather might force one on me.

Men make fire. Fire good.

Jeff from the Hike Inn gave me a lecture on safety (bears, snakes, spiders, lightening) on the ride back to the center around 8:30.

It’s pretty cool that you actually walk over the dam as part of the trail.

The walk today was pretty easy. Early on I ran into Peenut, a section hiker I met briefly at Wayah Bald. We hiked quite a bit of the day together.

I stopped for lunch and he didn’t. Soon after, it started raining. I was a little freaked because the trail was going to start going up and there was thunder.

Then I ran into two hikers out for just a few days. They were completely stopped because they saw a bear cub run across the trail and hadn’t seen Mom yet.

Great. Stuck between a bear and a storm.

After awhile, we walked on. I waited a bit until I hadn’t heard thunder and started hearing birds again. But I got pretty soaked.

I met up with Peenut, Bottlecap, and a new guy Yoda at the first shelter. In the GSMNP you are not allowed to tent. You have to stay at a shelter. If a shelter is full, thru-hikers (which I am considered by park standards because of how far I’m walking) may tent near shelters.

You have to have a back country permit on you that lists the shelter you’ve reserved or says thru-hiker.

Anyway, point is that you have to plan out things a bit to hike between shelters. You can’t just hike until you’re tired then set up.

The next shelter was just 2-3 miles (your map may vary) away. So we all hiked on. It was refreshing to hike after the rain. My pants dry very quick.

Me, Peenut and Yoda all met up here (Bottlecap went on) with two sets of college kids – 9 of them altogether. But they were pretty tame (and geeky. So you know I liked them).

One of my blisters completely healed , but the other finally opened after walking in the rain. Evidently it looked a lot worse than it felt because Yoda and several of the kids got squeamish about it. I pointed out the possibility that perhaps I wasn’t so much a badass as they were just pussies.

I make such a good first impression. Why hasn’t Tom introduced me to his boss?

Fire tower Peenut and Bottlecap were nice enough to convince me to climb