(Part I & II of The Gear Here & Here)

Where were we? Ah yes…

Hygiene – Let’s get all the jokes about how you know this is the smallest section for me over with, shall we? Thanks.

Besides TP and hand sanitizer, I carry a very non-essential but wonderful device called a pStyle. I just have to unzip, pull my underwear out of the way, and go. I may find this not as awesome on the AT, but it has been invaluable hiking/camping in Florida scrub where I’m usually walking 50 feet just to find a tree taller than me to hide behind.

(As for that other unladylike waste process – I don’t carry a trowel to dig a hole. I use the sharp tip of my trekking poles. I am hoping that the outhouses at the AT shelters aren’t so gross though and my hole-digging is minimal.)

I also carry dental floss, a child’s toothbrush, toothpaste, a wide-tooth comb, and a handful of all-purpose wipes. I plan to take my specialty vitamins (D3 and B12) every other day swapping off with a Women’s multivitamin. I’ll have prescription muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatories. K will carry some SPF 30 lotion that is made for faces but we’ll use all-over as we need.

As part of my hygiene/clothing/first aid/survival I also carry two bandanas. There’s nothing you can’t do with a bandana.

Cooking/Kitchen – Along with K’s stove, we’re taking her whole mess kit since it packs together nicely with the stove. Two sets of bowls/cups that nest together and have lids.

I have a long-handled Titanium spoon which I will claim for now and forever to be the world’s most awesome spoon. Long enough that it gets into deep pots and pouches for stirring. Small enough to fit in your mouth. Titanium. ‘Nough said.

We’re taking a homemade windscreen – half a tinfoil cookie sheet – to shield the stove if needed. And we also have a designated kitchen rag.

My 2L Platypus is a hydration system that slips down the back of my pack and the tube snakes out to the front so I drink as we walk. The 1L is a collapsible plastic bottle. Very handy for late-night dry mouth.

It is generally agreed you should not drink natural water sources without treating it somehow. We have chosen to treat it chemically with drops made by AquaMira. (You can read that this is not a failsafe way to treat water. You can also read how people have died from streaming drinkable tap water through their nose and an amoeba got in their brain. You roll the dice. You take your chances. It’s your life. It’s now or never. Don’t tell me about how I’m treating my water incorrectly, is what I’m really saying.)

We’ll carry our food in a large waterproof bag that we clip to a carabiner. At night if there are not bear poles/bear cables available, we have 50 feet of paracord we can throw over a high tree branch and hoist the food up to safety for the night. We’ve used this method on a trip with both strong rain and evidence of bear activity in the area. That’s about as confident as you can get before the “I told you so”s start rolling in.

Clothing – Here, I think I am erring on the side of too much. But day 3 puts us at our first hostel stop which also happens to be a great outfitter. If I decide I have too much, they will arrange for my packages to get home. If I learn I have too little, they will be happy to sell me more.

Basically, I have 2 sets of clothing – underwear, bra, socks, pants and shirt. The shirts and pants can be worn layered together for additional warmth. One shirt is long sleeve, one short. One set of pants is convertible into shorts (women – if you’ve had a problem fitting this style of pants, try the men’s section).

I have a silk turtleneck to wear as a sleep shirt and emergency cold weather clothing. Ditto my purple leopard print fleece PJ bottoms. Hell, you know I want to wear them as my outer layer on the trail anyway. I have a 3rd pair of socks to sleep in. Kind of emergency, emergency set. These are much thinner than my regular hiking socks and can go underneath if I need to double up some day.

I top it all off with a comfy, high-tech windbreaker, a scarf (I prefer to wrap it around my ears than wearing a hat) and a pair of gloves. I’ll put extra socks on my hands if they get really cold. I also have some DriDucks which I suspect I will never use since I hate rain gear.

Oh, and a pair each of trail runners (love them over traditional hiking boots) and black diamond trekking poles. Such knee savers.

No “camp” shoes for me. When we settle down for the day, I’ll either loosen the laces on my trail runners or go barefoot if it’s warm enough.

And…That’s pretty much it. Some ear buds. Some chapstick.

I’m carrying roughly 21 pounds before you add consumables. I hope to not carry more than 35 lbs even heading into the Smokey Mountains where we’ll need about 5 days worth of food.

Again, I’d love to go lighter. I think I might not use the maps. But I’d rather have them and send them home when it’s convenient rather than decide they are indispensable and can’t move on without them. I’d love to shuck some of the clothing, but not at the risk of being cold. I have never found a set of rain clothes I liked, but I also have always come out of the rain into a dry, warm condo.

I think I’m as light as I can get without being (too) stupid. That’s as good as it’s gonna get until I get some real miles under me.

(Part I of The Gear Here)

After covering the big four, the rest of my gear breaks down into a few categories:

1)Clothing

2) Cooking/Kitchen

3) Hygiene

4) Survival/Emergency

5) Gadgets

6) Consumables

Let’s tackle these backwards, shall we?

Consumables – food, water, fuel.

This is entirely up to you and your trail.

I can carry 3L water total in two separate containers. I may not fill both completely in order to reduce weight, depending on how confident I get gauging my intake.

My food is where I am most up in the air. I’m not interested in pre-planning and mailing a lot of custom food to myself so I will make do with what I find available in stores along the way. Since there is a long list of chemicals/ingredients I won’t let in my kitchen at home, this may end in disaster.

As for fuel – you can find stoves that burn wood so all you need to do is pick up some sticks. Tom has manufactured several stoves that are ultra light and use denatured alcohol as fuel. For this particular trip, I’m relying on (and loving) K’s Snowpeak Gigapower stove which is basically a flow valve and pot stand that screw upon several kinds of propane/gas type fuel canisters. Yeah, the canisters take up space regardless of how full they are and you have to dispose of them, but this type of stove gives you much more control while cooking than with alcohol or wood.

(We’re taking the “cozy” – insulated pot sleeve – Tom made since it fits on K’s pot. This allows us to boil water and then let things simmer/cook off the heat to reduce fuel use.)

Gadgets – One Word. IPhone. I have a 3GS, so very outdated. Yet it will allow me 1) to make phone calls 2) text 3)email 4)pull up maps 5) update this blog 6) make notes 7) read books 8) watch movies.

It also can serve as a compass, a clock, and in a pinch, a flashlight.

I suppose the NewTrent battery charger should be included here. A pain to not be able to buy extra batteries for my phone, but this charger rocks big time.

Survival/Emergency – For true “emergency” my kit includes: an emergency blanket (those weird space age tin foil things that hold all your body heat in), a whistle that has a compass attached, a repair kit for our tent, one of Tom’s ultra light stoves and a 1oz bottle with which I can measure alcohol fuel, an extra lighter, two extra tent stakes, two extra pony tail holders (what? Unkempt hair is not an emergency?), some 1-a-day contacts in case I break my glasses, and 3 extra AAA batteries for my headlamp.

For regular old day-in-and-day-out survival, I have my headlamp and my Leatherman micra. It has the distinction of being one of the few multi-tools with real working scissors.

Our first aid kit consists of several sizes/styles of Band-Aids, triple antibiotic ointment, anti-itch ointment, anti-diarrhea meds, some non-prescription NSAIDS, Benadryl, an ace bandage, mole skin for peskier blisters and some gold bond powder.

We have some all-purpose biodegradable camp soap to use for emergency clothes/person washing (most of that will hopefully be done on our town days) and for our kitchen as needed.

I’ll also carry appropriate map(s) and sections of the “AT Thru-Hiker’s Companion Guide”. The guide has mileage, water stops, etc. Most importantly, details and phone numbers for shuttles/hostels/hotels in towns. Lots of places have shuttle service to/from the AT and a “long distance hiker” price that might also include a load of laundry, a drive to the center town for re-supply, a pizza, what-have-you.

Damn. This is long. I’m tired just writing about it, let alone carrying it.

“A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread–and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness–
Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!”  (Omar Khayyám)

Despite what we all know about me, I am not bringing a jug of wine.  I don’t want to carry the weight.

There is a lot of debate over gear in long distance hiking.  And let’s be clear that I camp so that I can hike, not the other way around.  Meaning, I will do without some creature comforts if it means I can lighten my pack and make better mileage.  The tent that you carry from your car to a spot 100 yards away?  Ain’t gonna cut for me.

That said, I have not (yet) gone crazy ultra light either.  You can definitely find areas where I’m redundant because I’m cautious and haven’t been out in really bad weather yet.  And there are areas where the gear could just plain be lighter but I’m not ready/interested in paying the price.  Just like the skimpiest underwear is pricier than a 3-pack of Hanes, you often have to cough up big bucks to carry less weight.

I’m going to break this into sections so the post doesn’t get unwieldy.

First off, there are the big four: Pack, Shelter, Sleeping Bag, and Sleeping Pad.  These are called “the big four” in the hiking community because they are the most essential.  You will find many a debate about whether someone needs an extra set of underwear (of even one pair – lots of commando out there!).  But few are going to argue that you need a backpack in order to backpack.

They are also called the big four because they are usually the heaviest items.  Pick these wisely in order to have a lighter experience.  But don’t necessarily think the lightest will be the best for you.  Carrying less weight is great – unless you picked the wrong pack and your back seizes up in mile 15.

My “Big Four”:

Pack – A 2011 women’s GoLite Quest.  (The newer models are heavier and have a few more bells and whistles than mine) At roughly 2.7 lbs, you can find lighter packs.  But it’s definitely not “heavy”.  The weight has nothing to do with why I love it.

First, I love the design – One large compartment, one semi-big outside pocket, one semi-big compartment in the “top”.  Then two small pockets on the hip belts that can carry chapstick, ear buds, a granola bar, etc.  It’s pretty streamlined and simple.  (Technically there are two side pockets.  But they are so shallow I would not put anything in them that wasn’t also clipped on to a strap so it didn’t fall out.  I think this is the poorest feature on the Quest and I believe newer models fix this issue.  But since I carry two large items that use side straps (tent poles and sleeping pad) this design flaw doesn’t bug me as much as it might others.)

Other people love having more pockets and compartments sewn into their pack.  Not me.  Even if an item does not get back to its designated spot, I only have three places I can look for it.  And each additional pocket comes with additional weight.

The second reason I love this pack is the fit.  Typically, a women’s pack will fit a woman better and a men’s pack a man.  Duh.  Although I’ve known a few of both sexes to prefer it the other way around.  In fact, K is borrowing Tom’s Osprey Atmos 65 because it fits her so well.  You need to be aware in pack shopping that they do come in sizes – based on torso length – and it will make the world of difference once you find the right fit.

I have a pack cover that is water proof for when it rains.  The cover squinches down into a small 2″ bag that I carry on one of the useful loops on the back of the pack.  I also have the pack lined with a regular black trash bag.  This is for 1) in case the pack cover fails/I get it on too late and 2) in case my water leaks.  A lot of hikers consider using both overkill, but since there is often not room in the tent for my pack I like to put the cover on overnight to protect the pack from dew.

Shelter: A MSR Hubba Hubba.  With an additional footprint, this weighs in on the heavy side of a free-standing two-person tent around a little less than 5 pounds.  When Tom and I need a replacement, I will definitely weigh in that we can go lighter.  But this is a great tent to have when you are partner-swapping.  Once you get your mind out of the gutter we shall continue…

The MSR Hubba Hubba is a two-piece tent.  The main compartment has a solid “bathtub” bottom (the bottom extends about 4 inches up from the ground so pooling water will not leak in) and the rest is bug netting.  This is attached to a collapsible pole that gives the tent its shape.  Over the collapsible pole, you throw on the “rain fly” – a completely solid cover for the tent to keep out, um, rain.  It will also make the tent warmer.  The fly and tent attach to the ends of the pole.  You can stake the entire thing in the ground to keep it in place but it is not necessary.  There are doors on both sides of the tent, so you each have your own exit/entrance.  The rain fly doors are very loose and you stake them out into a patio or “vestibule”.  This is useful to keep gear outside the tent dry and nearby.

The additional footprint is just another piece of solid material.  Like a little tent blanket laid down first where you set up.  It takes the brunt of whatever pokey stuff you may be laying on so hopefully the actual tent is spared.

The reason we chose to take the Hubba Hubba is that it is a completely rectangular.  (Some two-person tents are made with a larger end meant for two heads and a smaller end made for two sets of feet.)  This gives K and I the possibility to sleep head-to-feet and get some “me” time at night.  Or at least some “I don’t have to stare at your fucking face” time.  The bug netting portion on the inside has small mesh pockets to keep things close at hand so we each can have our phones/ear buds/glasses out without accidentally grabbing the others.

The Sleeping Bag – A GoLite 25 degree Quilt.  At 2.5 lbs, this is awesome for a 25 degree non-down sleeping situation.  But it’s not for the cold at heart.  I do supplement it a bit, as I explain below.

A sleeping quilt is basically a sleeping bag with no zipper.  It is sewn up about 1 foot down the back so my feet have a spot to snuggle.  The rest is splayed open like a blanket.  It has two places where you may tie ribbons through and cinch it closer to your body for more warmth but I am not bringing the ribbons.  (And in searching for the link to the quilt, I found out the ribbons are supposed to strap the quilt to your pad.  Huh.  Learn something new every day.  Still not taking them.)

I decided on a quilt after 1) being too hot in my 20 degree traditional bag 2) I saw Tom’s and how warm he stayed on a below 40 degree night on Pine Mountain in November.

I have to use a synthetic bag because I am allergic to down.  In general, you can find the same temperature rated bag in down lighter than you can in synthetic.  And please note that in the USA, a temperature rating means, “You will not die of hypothermia at this temp with this bag”.  There is no guarantee of comfort or ability to not shiver the night away.

I find in general that the material sleeping bags are made out of make me sweat.  Even when I’m cold.  I just don’t like that slippery material on my skin.  To remedy that and to help out on those colder nights, I use a sleeping bag liner.  Mine is a Sea to Summit  Reactor which is rated to add 15 degrees of warmth to the situation.  It also is great to creep into on really hot nights when you don’t even want to touch your sleeping bag.  It also doubles as a funk-compartmentalizer.  Keeps your sleeping bag cleaner and keeps you from smelling yourself (it has a draw string you can pull up around your neck).  Basically, I think bag liners are awesome multitaskers.   Some people would say it is non-essential weight (less than 10 oz) but I say they’re wrong.

The Sleeping Pad – A Therm-a-Rest Prolite Plus Women’s Pad.  A little over 1.5 lbs.  You can find lighter, and I have my eye on one about ½ lb less with just a small decrease in the insulation value.  (Although you have to manually blow that one up.  Everything has its drawbacks.)

First off, let’s agree.  A sleeping pad is essential.  It’s part of “the big four” for a reason.  Don’t try to camp without one.  The ground is cold.  Much colder than the air.  And it is also lumpy.

Second, a woman’s pad almost always has a higher insulation rating because we tend to sleep colder.  As much as I’m all about equality of the sexes, I’m not going to argue with physiology.

This pad is full size, meaning when I lay down my entire body fits on the pad.  You can cut weight by choosing ¾ or even ½ pads.  I don’t see the benefit.

It’s technically “self-inflating”.  In theory, if I lay it flat and open the valve, in a few minutes I should have a nice cushion of air to sleep on.  In reality, I do that then blow 10-20 breaths into the valve before sealing.  It works well, so I’m not quibbling.

At first, I wanted to use a stuff sack and carry it inside my pack.  I would start by folding it in thirds, rolling it up, cursing, re-folding, re-rolling, re-cursing.  And even once I finally, finally got it in the sack I didn’t like how much space it took up in the backpack.  So now I roll it up without folding and strap it to the outside.  It’s a much easier way to start the day and gives me some breathing room in my pack.  In case I change my mind about the wine.

I pair this with a Therm-a-Rest Trekker Roll Sack.  Definitely a non-essential.  But I love it.  It has a single strap to cinch the pad in a small roll.  Before I had to keep track of loose cinch straps every time I packed/unpacked.  It protects the pad a little while it’s strapped outside my pack.  Makes it easier for me to take my pack off and not worry about where it lands.  And the pocket to stuff clothes in to make a little pillow?  Awesome.  I tried using stuff sacks as pillows, but those are usually made out of similar slippery/sweaty material as sleeping bags.  The pocket is lined with fleece on the outside and feels great after a hard day.  I don’t have to take the roll sack off the pad during set-up or take-down so it’s not even like another piece of gear I have to keep track of.

So there you go.  My “big four” weigh in at about 13 pounds.  In theory, I could knock a few pounds off by having my hiking partner carry half the tent (or carry a single person tent).  I’m shouldering a bit more weight with both of my partners right now due to the fact I’ve had the ability to train and condition while they’ve done responsible things like make money.  I would love to get this under 10 pounds and have my eye on possibilities, but this gear has passed several field tests and I’m happy for now.
Next time:  All the other shit you need.

Happy birthday to me!

Tom has been and gone (as evidenced by the photo of his pant leg) although he did remember to call me and extend appropriate best wishes so there’s that.

For those not bothering to keep track on the In Progress calender, Wednesdays are my usual days to visit/help my Gma.  Didn’t see any point on canceling on her just because I got a little bit older.  Plus, I’m about to leave her to fend for herself for a month.  Might as well show up while I’m able.

The biggest excitement I have going on other than our dinner plans is looking backwards.  9 years or so backwards, as I edit and proof and privatize a few things on the blog so I feel comfortable handing out the URL to all in my contacts list who wish to keep tabs on me during the big hike.

It’s been exhausting.  (9 years!  And I was a verbose bitch in the beginning.  I now hate my first year of blogging based on amount of posts alone.)  But it’s also been nice.  I got to me and TG dating yesterday and spent a lot of time laughing.  Damn that was a fun relationship while it lasted.

It’s also been confusing.    There is still one post about a date that I have no recollection of.  Don’t even remember dating anyone at the time.  Maybe it was fiction?  But I think it’s more likely I just had a really unmemorable date.  Probably a good thing I settled down.

And poor Tom.  He’s had to suffer through my prattling on and on about this project.

But I can’t wait to get to when he and I started dating.  I bet he can’t either.

I haven’t shared much about the specifics of my upcoming hike because to me they are either 1) very simple or 2) very boring.  But Tom pointed out that if I’m going to be directing any and everyone interested in our journey to follow along here, perhaps I should get a bit more verbose about the subject.

The hike is the simple part.  You put one foot in front of the other.  Try not to fall down.  Try to stay dry, not so stinky, and somewhat not hungry.  Repeat as necessary.

The details of the planning/decisions leading up to that first step might be deemed boring.  But since I’m not chaining you to the computer and taping your eyes open, here I go!

K and I will be starting at Springer Mountain, the southern terminus of the Appalachian trail.  Tom and K’s husband, Q, will drive up with us on a Monday.  It’s a full day’s drive from Tampa so we don’t plan to start out on the trail until Wednesday – giving us a day to recoup, regroup, eat some good meals, etc.

We’re staying at one of the cabins at Amicalola State Park.  There is about an 8 mile approach trail from the visitor center to the actual start of the AT.  It is a big deal with thru-hikers whether you do this approach trail or not.  Due to the fact that we want to give ourselves every opportunity to reach our destination (Damascus, VA) we will skip the approach trail.

We hope to make it to Damascus, VA before Memorial Day weekend.  About 5 weeks.  This has us averaging 15 miles/day with no zero days.  (“zero day” = a day where you hike zero miles)  Some people say this is an aggressive plan.  I can’t disagree.  But we are using a well-established day-to-day plan that has us start out hiking 7-10 miles a day and building up.  Remember: we don’t have shit else to do.  Even walking 2 miles per hour we can do 16 miles in a day and still have time for cooking/camp set-up/resting/etc.

We have tickets home from a small airport technically in TN (about 40 miles from Damascus) where Alligent Air flies to Clearwater/St Pete.  But we purchased a flex option so we can change the itinerary as needed.

A lot of people hear about long-distance hiking and their mind is completely blown by the idea at the amount of time it takes.  But the reality is, long-distance hiking is a WHOLE BUNCH of 3-5 day trips strung together.  How long you have between towns/hostels/etc depends on what trail you’re on, but most will agree that the AT is the easiest trail to thru-hike in part for the amount of civilization available to aid you.

So about every 3 days or so, we plan to sleep in a real bed.  We will either stop at a hostel or sometimes a larger town with several accommodation options.  Every time we stop we’ll also be able to do some laundry, shower, and re-supply our food.  Sometimes the options will be sparse – grabbing convenience store food or rummaging through a nature center’s snack aisles.  We do have a box of food we know we like/can’t live without (my Starbucks VIA is included) that we will ship to the first of these difficult re-supply areas.  We have a couple other locations we have in mind for the box (called a bounce box in hiker lingo because you “bounce” the box to yourself up/down the trail) but we don’t want to set too much in stone.  We’ll get on the trail and see how we feel.

That sentence sums up a lot of our plan.  We’ve done two shakedowns together and made several changes to gear/packing/clothing based on those.  We’ve scoured the Appalachian Trail Thru-Hikers’ Companion for all the details about trail towns and where we want to stay/re-supply.  And we’ve both stressed getting in shape in general.  But we can’t know how we’ll feel, how our bodies will react.  To decide we have to stay on plan could be disastrous.  We need to just get on the trail and see what happens.

Testing wordpress iPhone app Please enjoy this picture of Spike lurving that Tom came home.

Huh.  So that was February.

On the 12th, I drove Tom to the airport.  I haven’t seen him since.  He had it in his head that this time around he was just going to stay up at the new warehouse until the other manager got there and took there.

But on the 3rd I squeezed him in at the dentist who sent him to another dentist who said he needed to see a third dentist.  Dentist #1 took x-rays and referred him for a root canal.  Dentist #2 said the tooth was a total loss and referred him for extraction.

He wasn’t able to get to Dentist #3 before the 12th.  And after two weeks I finally put my put foot down and said I didn’t marry stupid so get back here to fix that tooth.  Yeesh.  (Dentist #3 has performed other oral surgeries on him so he wanted this specific dentist versus finding someone in Atlanta.)

He’ll be back next Tuesday, and fly out that Sunday again – just squeaking out the “no planes for three days” rule of having a gaping bloody clot in your mouth.  I’m happy he’s coming back because it means if things run longer than planned he’s taken care of.  I’m sad because I’m pretty sure this means he won’t be home for my birthday.

But.  All that is a great excuse for why Tom didn’t write the month the February.  It doesn’t explain my absence.  Except to say that I used to keep my weekends completely clear for spending time with my husband and without that criteria I got a little overbooked.

In February, I:

-Ran 6 miles for the first time ever.  Then did it again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  I am afraid I am a runner now.

-Attended a free conference on fundraising.  The gist was, our software and coaching skills are the only model that work.  Surprise, surprise.

-Made jam.  Strawberry jam.  In quilted glass bottles that could sit out on the shelf and not grow mold or anything.  I gave some away and the verdict is I make damn good jam.

-Volunteered with a group at an ape sanctuary south of me.  I’ve never been very interested in working with primates, but I have to say chimpanzees and orangutangs are pretty awesome.

-Saw a movie in a real movie theater.  You may say that’s not list-worthy, but it tops the number of movies I saw in a real movie theater in 2011 by one.  (It was the Decedents and I loved it.  I saw it with a friend who has been to Hawaii several times for work and plans to take me with next time so we can hike!)

-Camped out carrying/using all of the gear Tom and I usually carry/use together.  K, my planned hiking partner for a month on the AT this spring, was with me and used all of her two-person gear as well.  We compared everything to determine what would work best for the both of us.  Extra bonus to me is the knowledge I can hike with two-person gear solo if needed.

-Got a little head cold.  It’s gone, thank goodness.

-Attended some fun but time consuming meetings.  One with K to get started with hiking plans.  One with the other leaders of the volunteer group to determine how we can do more outreaches to help other sanctuaries.  (Yeah, I said “other” leaders.  As in, I’m one too.  Gah.  The introvert in me hates stepping up to the plate.  But the animal lover in me knows this needs doing.)

-Kept Tom’s fish alive.  Not a hard or especially time consuming task, granted.  But still.

-On top of running, basically kicked my ass from one side of the gym to the other.  Without my usual weekend indulgences, I’ve managed to keep the numbers on the scale moving in the right direction.  I just signed up for the first day of a one-month boot camp.  Fingers crossed I’m not the slowest person in camp.

-Got my oil changed.  Only 8,000 miles apart this time!

Now that Tom’s coming home in a few days, it’s super lucky I’ve got a pretty clear schedule for this weekend.  I’ve kept up on the basic necessities, but you will notice my February list did not include cleaning/changing the linens.  Or mopping the floors.

Most importantly, I have not scoured the internet for the perfect “I’m sorry I’m a crazy workaholic and missed your birthday” present.

This year I went a tad crazy with resolutions/2012 goals. The news of Tom’s promotion came to us sometime in the beginning of December with the agreement it started in January. That kind of threw everything I knew about 2012 into a blender, added some ice and gave me whiplash.

(Alas, this does not mean he’s been traveling less. If anything, he’s traveling more since he’s driving back and forth to the warehouse in GA (the one we really wish he’d get assigned to run) because its start date is earlier than the FL one and they need his help. Driving instead of flying is dangerous for a workaholic because it’s so easy to add juust-ooonee-mooree-thiiiinnnng onto his plate before driving home. He got in after 10pm one Friday, which never happened when he flew everywhere. And he loves to leave at 4am Monday morning to get a head start on traffic. Bah.)

Once my head kinda settled, I immediately wanted some spreadsheets and lists. It’s not really possible for me to plan much of 2012 yet with so much up in the air. But the combination of the new year and my determination to make the best of this situation for myself made for some crazy uber-lofty re-make-the-world-I-live-in-and-how-I-live-with-it statements. I CAN DO ALL THE THINGS!

I have some huge items on that list. Hiking. Spending extra time at the cabin. Getting a job. Hopefully in that order because I’m pretty sure a new employer would not take kindly if I asked for two months off straight away.

These things, like my health, I am considering “goals”. By which I am defining with my quotations to mean, “Large end events that require much subsequent planning, details, support and additional spreadsheets. Maybe an App or two.”

But there are much more simple things that made the list as well. Things that perhaps came about while thinking about these larger goals. Some are hopes/ideals sprung from the vision I have for Tom and myself when we are living in something different than a breadbox 3 stories in the sky and his drive home is less than 8 hours.

These smaller, simpler items fall more into the “resolution” category. And all of them follow the basic theme of less and more.

More Birthdays. I am horrible at keeping in touch with people. Isn’t everyone? Yet each year I am constantly surprised by the number of emails, cards, calls, and texts I get from across the world on my birthday. It warms my heart. I want to do that for people. So this year I resolve to send real, true snail-mail cards for people’s birthdays.

Less water. I’m probably the only person in the world who needs to make this resolution. But I can drink between 7-9 liters a day. That’s 3-4 times your 8 a day. I’m not pre-diabetic. I’ve never had an adverse reaction or electrolyte imbalance. I started drinking lots of water in college when I battled the freshman 20 (I am an overachiever in EVERYTHING) and heard how good it was for losing weight. Then it kind of just morphed and ramped up. It’s possible it’s even a bit of a social crutch. Can’t think of anything to say? Suck on a straw and nod! But as much as Drs have not found anything bad associated with this phenomenon, I’m not seeing much good to it either. I fill up on water so much I don’t think I have a healthy gauge on what an empty/full stomach feels like. And at some point I’m just wasting water – the extra liters than go right through me PLUS the flush it takes to get rid of it. So I want to limit myself to 4-5 liters a day.

More Music. Once upon a time I owned a 51-rack CD player. The stereo was set up near the front door and I didn’t have cable. Instead of mindless TV as background noise, I hit “shuffle” and heard discs physically rotating from song to song. Now I own an old generation iPod Nano that has no off switch and a sound system that doesn’t support charging. It seems every time I think to hook the two up, the Nano is out of juice. I’m going to get better about charging it or get a new system that will eliminate this problem. Also, thanks to a generous Christmas gift card, I am buying 1 new song a week for my running/workout mixes. I should also resolve to sync the nano/computer/iPhone more often so I share this music. OK. Done.

Less recycling. Again with the bizarro world resolution. But this is also about more reducing and re-using. As I get pickier about the foods we eat, the containers they come in get simpler. We re-use any plastic bag or bag-like packaging for cleaning up around the house (I am very careful about ripping the smallest hole possible in the toilet paper packaging so it has future use). I have started saving glass containers to re-use instead of Tupperware. Our biggest recycling need these days is paper. Any advice on how to not get junk mail flyers is appreciated. My biggest waste right now is yogurt containers because my county recycling was created with the concern of food waste rotting in the dumpsters under the FL sun. So instead of being allowed to recycle plastic by coded number, I may pitch anything in that, “Has a neck.” WTF? The hardest thing for me about this resolution means I cannot willy-nilly shop for super-cheap produce at Aldi’s because most of it comes packaged in Styrofoam and cellophane.

More Reading. And less re-reading. I have three or four authors I adore and I rotate through their books as bedtime reading. I also tend to not tackle harder books because I was only reading at bedtime and I need soft, fluffy reading which does not hurt my head mentally or physically when I fall asleep and face plant into it. I’m trying to set aside some time during the day to read the heavy stuff and to use paperbackswap.com to come up with new material.

Less Email Checking. I will finally listen to all those productivity experts. I love, love, love my Smartphone and I believe it has enhanced my life a hundred fold. Just getting to play a game while waiting for the Dr eases my stress. And being able to listen to music, track my run AND have 911 easily available all on one device is priceless. But I have definitely gotten into the habit of checking email way too often. And for what? I work part-time. For my computer-less grandmother. My husband calls for everything and anything. My friends text for need-to-know-now information like if I’ve seen a black belt with a silver buckle since that Vegas trip. Email is a time suck. I hope to get in this habit now so that when I do land a job I can carry this over when it will mean I’m being more productive. Versus right now when it means I have more time to watch Netflix.

More Cooking. More crockpotting. More new ingredients. More new recipes. More menu planning. As I foray deeper and deeper into the desire to understand where my foods have come from and how they were created, I want to make sure this expands my food experience, not shrinks it. Over the holidays I had several recipe “crutches” that I just made and remade and froze and reheated. Yes, they are tasty. But it got boring. I am trying to shake up the taste buds. I also continually get stressed over Friday dinners because I volunteer in the morning/afternoon and am almost always too tired to prepare the planned meal. If only someone created a special pot wherein I could put ingredients in the morning and they would magically be a meal come evening…Sometimes I astound myself with these little “duh” moments.

So, if we pretend I told you all that at the beginning of January….I am doing pretty well on some fronts. I used the crockpot on two Fridays. I’ve made my own pizza crust, scones, and doughnuts.

I’m into Serious Book #2 (Nim Chimpsky). Yes, most of my serious books will revolve around animals – captive or wild.

Thanks in part I’m sure to my decision to not drink for the 1st month of the year, I haven’t had to do any glass recycling in 2012. And I’m down to every-other-week on the other recycling.

I’ve sent out 4 birthday cards so far although I did realize one glitch in my plan…I thought it would be a nice way to catch up with people I don’t talk to often. But then I had my first opportunity to do so and it felt very weird to write all about myself in a card supposedly sent to celebrate the other person. So I just fell back on writing about how long we’d been friends and awesome, yay, happy birthday.

I have no idea how I’m doing on the water. I think better. My main gauge right now is to not re-fill water bottles immediately but try and drink through all of them (I have 3-4) and take note of that before I double-dip for the day.

I need to work on the email checking. I have no real tangible goal for this. Do I get to check it at certain times of the day? Only a certain number of times? Right now I am going for, “Don’t check email while driving.” Yeah. I suck.

My nano is still un-synced for 2012. But I’ve gotten a little better about charging it and playing it while I’m working around the house. And I have kept up with buying myself a new song almost every week. This week I had to skip because I bought two songs last week. In a I-must-hear-it-now fit, I downloaded “Domino” by Jessie J last Friday.

We’ll work on better taste in 2013.

Dear Girl in the gym who needed to pull down her shorts and up her shirt to prod at her flat stomach in the mirror,

I was going to be all snippy and say things like I can bench press you and I may be fat but at least I can do math.

But your skinny ass looked so damn critical and annoyed and unhappy.  So honey, let me back up the snark and say that you don’t need to go to the gym to worry about those things.  Do that in your house.  At the gym, worry about how your body feels.

Hugs,

The pudgy girl sweating buckets on the elliptical who left with a smile on her face because her body felt awesome.

PS.  Get some 34DDs.  With the right bra and shirt combo, you can be 5 months pregnant and look like you have flat abs.

——-

Dear Target,

You disappoint.  And FYI: no one’s interested in bright red food utensils made in China.

Sincerely,

The lady who kept most of her money to give to a different store.

——

Dear Whole Foods,

You do not disappoint.  How much would it cost to let me in after hours, turn on all the bulk spigots, and roll around in it?

Luv,

A woman who is frufru enough to buy quinoa and whole wheat pastry flour but also frugal enough to not pay frufru prices

—-

Dear Shoulder,

What.  The.  Fuck.  I get it.  No more iPhone games until you’re feeling better.  Now feel better.  Damnit.

Yours Truly,

I mean it.

When I started working for my grandmother, we (I) set some pretty strict rules.  The biggest of which was that I would not participate in any medical issues.  This was promptly discarded two weeks in when I had to remove a tick from her inner thigh.

EW.

But aside from parasite removal, I’ve held to this rule.  The thoughts behind it are 1) I’m not medically trained and 2) I’m only there two days out of the week.  If she needs help with daily things like eye drops and taking her blood sugar, she needs more help than I can offer.

I’m around to widen the gap between an independent apartment (albeit one with maid service and cafeteria privileges) and a fully assisted living facility (aka nursing home).  She wants to maintain her independence and her quality of life, so I am there to do things like help write checks for her bills, order perfume off the internet, handling her more personal shopping requests, research/discuss/aid in complicated matters such as taxes, the property in WI, etc.

The one thing I did not plan for or anticipate was how I would also become a big part of her social world.  Specifically, her dining entertainment.

My grandparents ate out 2 nights a week for as long as I can remember.  Now, not only does she not drive but she can’t see well enough to feel safe in just anyone’s vehicle.  She also hates to be far from her own bathroom and hates to break up lunch/dinner plans with friends to request a ride back early.

At first I felt awkward about how much we ate out.   It was definitely a job perk I hadn’t counted on.  Nor really appreciated since it was also around this time when I started trying to get healthy.

A few times I tried paying for the smaller meals.  And a few times I succeeded.  But it really bugged her.  Once I mentioned it to my mother and she was adamant I let Gma pay because she truly enjoyed being able to go out and treat me.

So I became deft at ordering salads and splitting desserts.  I would take a long walk in the afternoon while Gma napped and follow it up with some more aerobics while catching up on Glee and House.  Despite this weekly decadence, I managed to make progress.

Then the cancer came.

Here’s the thing.  When someone has little time left and they still have an appetite?  You encourage it.  Gma started having very specific restaurant requests and once there, very specific preferences.  I don’t think I will ever again sit down to a table where someone orders salmon Florentine with french fries.

The problem is that Gma is very much a social eater/drinker.  She’ll have a glass wine with dinner if you are.  She’ll have dessert if you do too.  (Gone also were the days of splitting desserts.  She wanted her own, damnit.)  She wouldn’t even enjoy her soup/salad if I didn’t have something as well.  This happened often since I’d order an entree salad and no soup.  Then she would stop after every fork/spoon-full to ask if I wanted some.

So, I began to eat more.  I ordered wine and dessert.  When and if I ordered an entree salad, I’d also order some vegetable side to come out when her soup/salad course arrived.

Throughout our journey with the cancer so far, Gma has had few physical manifestations that she is ill.  The cancer is already in her lymph system, so one side effect we were told of was the possibility of lymph fluid building up in her abdomen.  And that seemed to be happening, as her stomach grew and her pants grew tight.

But the oncologist didn’t hear fluid when she went for checkups.  Yet Gma kept patting her belly and talking about how it just seemed to be growing and growing.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

I’m not quite sure why I didn’t put 2+2 together myself.  I guess because in a way I wanted her to have some signs of sickness?  That sounds horrible, but it’s also what she wants.  It drives her bat shit crazy that she’s been given this death sentence and doesn’t have a damn thing to show for it.

Finally, everything clicked (for me at least) when we saw her regular primary care doctor and she got on the scale.  She’d gained 8 pounds in three months.

I still did have to point out to her the connection.  I was leery to do so.  I didn’t want her to feel the need to stop her marvelous eating and enjoyment.  But I finally had to speak up the next time we saw the oncologist to give an explanation for the large belly does not equal horrible lymph system run amok.

While I probably in part get my stockiness from my Gma, she’s a pretty petite lady these days.  She can stomach those 8 pounds as long as she’s also willing to shell out some money for new pants.

But I however, cannot afford them.  The pounds or the pants.  I don’t have cancer (that we know of) (yet).  My food and exercise choices are made in part to ward off the possibility.  So now I am back to no desserts and (for the time being) no wine.  Which means she is too.  At least with me.

Thank god she has cocktail hour three times a week with other residents of her community!